Just The Two Of Us <Sweet Pea FF>

75. Misery

"Ok, so you are okay with running pops on thanksgiving?" Ronnie wipes off the counter
"Yes, I'm a professional" I say, picking up the coffee can and walking around the counter but I trip and nearly spill the coffee.

Veronica's eyebrows furrow like she is looking at a child learning how to walk but is failing miserably.

She sighs "Ok, pop quiz on running pops. Or as I like to call it pop pops quiz" a childish but sincerely amused smile spreads on her face.

"What do you do when a customer chokes?"
"Look, if I have to cut a hole in someone's throat, I'll cut a whole in someone's throat" raising my shoulders jokingly but ronnie let's the cloth fall on the counter, tilting her head, reminding me to take this seriously.

"Next one. What do you do when there's a fire?" She wipes her hands on her apron.
"Follow up question, did I or did I not start that fire?"

Ronnie just shakes her head at my silliness "So, you failed this quiz now twice"
"I'm just joking. You know I'm going to be fine, there will be other people here"

"But pop and I won't be here. He's with his family and I'm at Archie's community centre thanksgiving party"
I pick up some dirty dishes and put them away "I think it's great, that you are helping children get off the street"

"And so is Munroe" that vicious mocking smile appears again and I just role my eyes "Don't remind me"

"Talking of things you don't want to be reminded of" she whispers between gritted teeth and looks past me.
When I turn around I see Luciana coming in and heading for the counter.

"Do you think she's going to kill me?"
"Either way you're on your own"
"Wait no-"
But she is already around the counter, waiting on tables.

Oh lord.
"Hey, welcome to pops" I try to put on a friendly smile.
"Hi" her full red lips contort into a sad attempt of a smile.
"What would you like to order?"
"Do you have anything gluten free?" She looks at me with her amber eyes, scanning every inch of my body.

"We have napkins" I joke but quickly realise that she is not one to goof around with.
Her face blank.
Ugh she is so bitchy... and pretty. But more bitchy than pretty.

"Oh, she's funny. Whatever. I'm just waiting for someone anyways"
"Oh, who are you waiting for?"
"Sweet pea"

I don't know what kind of expression slipped on my face that I couldn't control but it must have said a lot.
"Yeah, I heard about you two. But let me tell you one thing" she leans closer on the counter. So close I'm scared she is going to scratch out my eyes.

"He's mine now. You've lost the right to sleep with him or even just care about him when you left." She spits and it feels like a snake hissing into my face, I was not prepared for a confrontation.

"That was different I l-"
"You didn't love him! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe he was good for your ego. Or, or maybe he made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love him, because you don't destroy the person that you love"

My brain stutters for a moment as she glares at me, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up, trying to comprehend what she just said. Sadly she is right.

Trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak I just stand there, mouth widened in shock.

The ringing of the bell  pulls me back into reality and I look into sweetpeas dark eyes. He approaches us. Oh shit.

A short hello and they walk to a booth, sitting opposed to each other like we used to.

"What did she say?" Ronnie pops up to my right and I turn around to face her.
"I need to disappear. What do you think about the name Hanna Newman?"
"Don't be dramatic" she starts giggling and I tell her about that verbal put down.

It was horrible waiting on them the entire afternoon. Luckily, we are about to close and all customers have already left.

I'm wiping the tables while Ronnie cleans some mugs. When I finished I walk over to the counter and glide onto one of the bar stools.

"I need a day of. For drinking" laying my head on the freshly cleaned counter.
"Why need a day of when we can do it now? I may have taken some of my father self made rum" she winks and gets the bottle.

"Girltalk?" She asks and I take a sip from the bottle, the liquor burning down my throat.

"Ok, so, I like him but I don't want to get hurt again. When he wanted to be just friends it crushed me. I was miserable for weeks"
Ronnie raises an eyebrow
"Ok months" I mumble.

"It was the perfect relationship and I threw it away" my head sinks down on the counter again.
"But there must've been something wrong with your relationship"
"Yes, that I ended it" I groan and take another sip.

"You had your reasons to leave. Think about the bad things when you were together" she proposes and picks up another mug.
"Yeah, okay, well, one time...
He always used to...I... ugh there were no bad things"

"Only riverdale" she adds and it's true. The town threw us every hurdle there is.
"Damn you riverdale" I scream, both of us starting to laugh.

"Look, if you want crappy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting crap" she throws the cloth over her shoulder and grabs the bottle "This is awful, so away with it"

She's right.

It turns out sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who we really are.

And I had to give up things but what I've learned is that I don't need much. I don't need much to be happy.
I don't need a relationship.
Maybe I can't be in a relationship. I'm just not made for love, so no more of it.

I've retired from relationships.