Just The Two Of Us <Sweet Pea FF>

79. Say so

"So, after you got shot, you were kidnapped by the so called 'goulies' and lost several friends and your home during the 'war' with them. During a Halloween party you witnessed the death of a young man and had an encounter with the mystical creature 'gargoyle king', which turned out to be 'tall boy', a former serpent, who then got shot by your boyfriend and his friend by accident in a bunker, belonging to dilton doley. At that time your foster father died and only a couple weeks after, you and a friend got kidnapped by the gargoyle gang and you were shocked by a taser several times. And while the gang slowly drifted apart you made friends with members of the farm, a cult that was involved in illegal organ trafficking. You were offered a highly respected scholarship in Spain and since you felt excluded from the gang and had troubles with your boyfriend you considered attending it. The decision was made after your prom night where several students got murdered and you ran away. Nonetheless you came back because of fred Andrew's tragic death. Now your ex boyfriend is 'fooling around' with other girls, but with you as well, mainly when you two are drunk at some party. And on Halloween a psychedelic murderer came into the diner where you work and tried to kill you and your friend. Is that right?" The woman looks up from her clip board and waits for a response.

"Although you make it sound kind of crazy, that sums it up pretty well" a desperate expression spreads on my face. What is my life?

"What are you saying, doctor? Am I insane?"

"No" she sighs "The crazy thing is that you are not insane. But as I can see from what you've described, your group of friends, and with that your family, is drifting apart. Jughead, your best friend, is at a different school and Betty is involved in some family drama, while cheryl and toni have their own troubles at home. Veronica tries handling her father and the serpents don't really exist anymore. Everything is falling apart and you are fleeing into the only familiar space you know, your ex boyfriend." The lady with the dark skin and the curly hair plays with her pen, but her warm voice is still calm and steady.

"What I'm trying to say is, that is not weird. In fact, this is pretty normal. You are trying to hold on to something steady while everything is changing." A mild smile appears on her face.

"That's great" I raise my hands and let them fall in my lap "For a moment I thought you would diagnose me with alcoholism or something like that" I scoff.

"I am going to diagnose you with something, after all. From what you've told me and during our session I noticed, that you were making a lot of jokes and sarcastic comments"

"That's just how I am" an awkward and desperate chuckle escapes my mouth but she doesn't pay any attention to my interruption.

"As I see it, the death of your parents and the fact that you never really processed it but just put it aside instead of treat it properly, has affected your entire life. You are trying to build a new family around you. From what you've told me, it sounds like you have quite some friends, because you are looking for a replacement for your parents. You fear being alone. Moreover, you don't want to get attached, Julia, you fear being left alone again. You never really addressed the problem and started processing the loss of your parents. That's why you ran away. You couldn't deal with the chaos in riverdale and your personal life. That is why you are using humour as a defence mechanism. It's an Involuntary Coping Mechanisms: A Psychodynamic Perspective, humor helps alleviate situations and eases one's mental state. You are making all those jokes to put aside the severity of things and distract from your real feelings." Her serious eyes are laid upon me.

That was a lot. I gulp, trying to get my head around everything she just said. And the worst thing, she is right.

"So, humor as a defence mechanism?" Biting my lips again, I look up at her
"You mean like Chandler?" A small smile wants to crawl on my face but the therapist whose name I forgot doesn't seem to appreciate my joke.

"Yeah, okay, I see what you mean. So, what should I do?" Seriousness lays down on me. I'm dark and twisted. I'm the third of the twisted sisters. See, another great joke just from the top of my head. Please tell me you understood that reference.

"Another session" she says while handing me a card "We will talk about your parents and how to deal with everything without running away"

"Facing my problems, huh? Never done that before" another joke, I just can't help it.

We are basically playing the game of whose life sucks the most and I'll win. I always win.

"And I want you to attend this school trip in a few weeks" she lays down her pen but doesn't bother to look at me.

"The ski trip? Well, you need your parents approval for that and our new principal is not as chilled as the one before sooo, not gonna happen"

"I will talk to him. It's an important thing for you to be included and not be left behind, alone"

Damn, way to rub it in my face.

"Well, thanks" I guess.