soulmate. | jaemin

twenty-eight

[TW: sexual assault]

"did you cancel your trip to china so you could spend more time with me?" jaemin asked, plopping himself on her bed.

he had let himself into the house on his own and technically barged into xue's room without her acknowledgment.

"what do you think?" she asked, leaning on her study table. jaemin got up and walked slowly towards her. xue kept on backing away until her back hit the wall.

she had nowhere else to run. jaemin had placed his arm on the wall, trapping her.

"well. i think that you canceled your plans because we can't do this when your parents and relatives are around," he said, crashing his lips on hers.

his lips moved down to her jaw, then to her bare skin on her neck. his kisses left her wanting for more. 

they then travelled to her collarbones but he wanted more. just when his hands slid down her sweatshirt and was about to remove it, she flinched away, stopping jaemin's actions.

jaemin had a shocked look on his face. "i'm sorry. i should've realized i was going too far." and that was when xue started to cry. her back slid down from the wall and when she was completely on the floor, jaemin quickly kneeled down beside her.

"jaemin i'm so sorry." she sobbed. "i'm scared. i'm terrified." she continued as jaemin wrapped his arms around her. "no don't be. i should be sorry."

she broke their hug and stared him into his eyes. "i don't deserve you. you're too kind. too perfect for my flawed self."

jaemin placed a finger on her lips, asking her to stop talking. "stop saying that. i love you so much and i want you to know that i won't ever stop loving you."

she started to cry harder in his arms. she felt secured for some reason. a feeling that she's always been missing. "i need to be honest with you." she sobbed out. "what is it about?" he asked as he guided her up, walking to her bed.

they both sat in silence before she broke it. "i have something to show you." she said, pulling the sweatshirt over her head, leaving her in her singlet.

jaemin panicked for a moment because he thought she was only wearing a bra under the sweatshirt.

"this scar over here." she pointed to a long, deep scar on her right shoulder. "i'm listening," he said.

"i was 13. i wasn't rebellious but i hung around people who were. that was my biggest mistake. i followed them around everywhere. most of them were older than me.

one day, one of them told me they're bringing me to a birthday party. being the naïve li xue i've always been, i fell for that lie. they ended up bringing me to an abandoned construction place." she paused and took a deep breath.

jaemin's heart was beating so fast. he's not ready to hear it but he felt the urge to know more. after all, she's his girlfriend.

"they left me alone or that's what i thought. the reason they brought me there was because they were planning to sell me off.

the so-called man that bought me had tried to rape me." she stopped talking, trying to hold in her tears. "you don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable about it." he engulfed her in his embrace, rubbing her torso.

"no." she choked out. "you're my boyfriend. you deserve to know about my past. no matter how horrible they were."

"i tried to break free but he was too strong. i kept on kicking him, begging him to let me go but he didn't. he assaulted me jaem. i called for help but no one heard.

when i finally managed to break free from his grip, he pulled me back forcefully but i kept on trying to free myself. i guess he got tired of me and decided to shred my skin off with his blade." she explained, tears streaming down her cheeks.

she hated how jaemin had to see her in her vulnerable state. jaemin had no words to say. he chose to stay silent because he knew whatever he was about to say can make his girlfriend more upset than she already was.

be it if he's trying to console her. he wiped her tears off with his thumb in hope that she wouldn't shed more tears.

his heart ached at the scene of her breaking down like that. he reached for her sweatshirt and slowly helped her wear it back.

he knew she felt uncomfortable with just wearing a thin piece of clothing. he also guessed that she felt insecure with her body especially with that scar on her right shoulder. that explained why she never wore clothes that would expose her right shoulder.

jaemin kissed the top of her forehead and rubbed her torso in motions. "you should rest. maybe asleep will help you to forget about it. well, momentarily." he said, helping her to lay down on her bed.

she nodded and followed jaemin's instructions. "we'll get some ice cream later okay? for now, i'll get you some warm water." he said, about to leave when xue pulled his arms.

"no. stay here with me," she said, patting on the space beside her. jaemin didn't think twice before laying his body beside hers.

he wrapped his arms around her waist meanwhile she had her whole face buried in his chest. "i'll always be here for you." he mumbled while playing with strands of her hair, but she heard him of course. and she's grateful for him and his existence.

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aaaaa it's been awhile huhu but i'm finally done with my finals!!! love that for me hehe hehe also soulmate is ending in abt 2 more chaps i guess?? stay tuned <333