Long Distance Love Letters

What Will I Do?

"Scarlet fever?" Anne asked, her voice shaky and nearly silent. Something was happening within herself that she didn't understand.

Dr. Ward nodded. "Apparently he was studying in his dormitory and he collapsed. Thankfully, his roommate was there and rushed him to the doctor."

"Is it serious?" she whispered, terrified of the answer. "Deadly?"

He took a moment. "Yes, it's quite serious from what I have heard."

Anne let out a sputtering breath, tears coming to her eyes as she slowly registered what was happening.

"Anyways," he continued. "I've just come to inform you considering you're his fiancée. I'm off to Toronto to see him now since I know him better than the doctor there."

"I'm coming with you," Anne stated without a moment's hesitation. She turned to go pack a small suitcase.

"Anne-" Dr. Ward started, making it clear that he was going to try and stop her.

"Due respect, sir," Anne interrupted, turning back towards him. "My fiancé is gravely ill, and God himself is not going to keep me away from him. Thank you."

And without another word, she turned and went to pack.

•••

After giving Diana a rushed explanation and making a quick promise to herself to send Marilla and Matthew a telegram, Anne and Dr. Ward began their long journey to Toronto.

Though the trip was spent mostly in silence, Anne's thoughts were screaming inside her head. Why didn't she force Gilbert to go to the doctor? Why on earth did she let embark on such a journey on his own? Why did she allow him to become ill?

She started twisting her engagement ring around on her finger.

Dr. Ward looked over. "Anne..."

The simple mention of her name made a son rise in her throat.

"What will I do without him?" she whispered.

His only response was to clasp her hand in his.

They didn't exchange a single word for the rest of the journey.

•••

As soon as they arrived at the university, Anne and Dr. Ward rushed to the medical center. The on-campus doctor met them there.

He shook Dr. Ward's hans first. "It's very nice to meet you, Dr. Ward. Thank you for coming on such short notice. I'm Dr. Bannon."

"How is he?" Anne asked urgently, not being able to force herself to endure pleasantries.

Dr. Bannon gave her a surprised look.

Anne exhaled, bringing herself back in check. "Sorry." She held out her hand. "I'm Anne. I'm Gilbert's fiancée."

He gave her a look of recognition and shook her hand. "Of course. Nice to meet you. He's stable for now. He's a strong young man. However, I'm sure Dr. Ward has conveyed to you how serious this case is."

A feeling of dread pressing back down on her heart, she nodded. "Is he going to...?"

Dr. Bannon exhaled. "We don't know. It's really all up to Gilbert. He will have to fight very hard."

"Can we see him?"

"Just Dr. Ward for now so he can assess him. But I'm sure Gilbert will want to see you as soon as possible."

Anne considered arguing, but she relented when she begrudgingly agreed that it was what was best for her Gilbert.

She took a deep breath and flopped into one of the chairs in the waiting room while Dr. Ward made his way towards Gilbert's room.

It was all Anne could do to stay in her seat and watch a fly crawl along the opposite wall.

She was powerless as anger seeped into her system.

•••

The anger was still very present when Gilbert's door opened.

She turned to see Dr. Ward coming out. He came into the waiting room and leaned on the wall.

Her eyes asked her question for her.

He gave a small tired smile and nodded. "He's asking for you."

Anne released a shaky breath and nodded. She rose to her feet and slowly walked to the door. She gripped the doorknob for a moment, bracing herself, before walking in, standing in the doorway.

Gilbert was lying in bed, a washcloth covering his forehead, probably for the fever. Anne immediately recognized how bad he looked.

He slowly moved his head to look at her, a weak smile appearing on his face.

"Well," he said, clearly with a lot of effort. "Wasn't exactly planning for this."

He was joking. He was making a joke at a time like this.

Anne didn't reply. She stared at him with an expression resembling contempt written on her face.

Gilbert lost his smile and he sighed. "You're mad."

"You lied to me," she forced out, almost cutting him off. "Again."

"I didn't lie," he protested softly.

"Yes, you did, Gilbert," she shouted, tears in her voice. "You said you were fine; you're not fine! That was a lie!" (AN: anyone know what movie i just referenced?)

"Anne, please," he whispered, clearly wanting her to stop.

Anne took a shuddering breath, fully crying now. "You knew how bad it was, didn't you?"

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I...had somewhat of an idea."

"And you didn't tell me?" she asked in disbelief. "We promised that there would be no more secrets."

Gilbert nodded. "I know." Anne had to strain to hear him. "It wasn't that I didn't want to admit it to you. I didn't want to admit it to myself."

Her anger slowly morphed into confusion.

Gilbert continued. "I didn't want to believe that it was something serious. I wanted to believe I was fine."

He gave her the most vulnerable look she had ever seen. "I was terrified. I am terrified....I don't want to die."

Slowly, all of Anne's walls crumbled away.

"Oh, Gil," she whispered, walking over and sitting next to him. She grabbed his boiling hand and kissed it. "I'm not leaving, okay? We will get through this together."

He took a shaky breath and she pushed back his slick hair from his forehead.

"I won't let anything happen to you."