Manic✔️

Love?

You stare at Namjoon wide-eyed and speechless.

"Be..your girlfriend?" You stutter.

Namjoon nods nervously and looks at you with glassy expectant eyes.

"Like..you and me. In a relationship. Together."

You scoot back to put some distance between you and him. Namjoons gaze drizzles down your body and you're reminded of your nudity. You snatch a throw pillow from the floor and clutch it against your chest, drawing your legs up to cradle it.

"I...well yeah" Namjoon replies, unbothered by his nudity and not even bothering to cover himself.  His only focus was you and your answer.

"Namjoon...we...I don't know." You shake your head in confusion.

"Hear me out, ok?" Namjoon suddenly leans over to slide closer to your end of the couch. One foot rested on the floor while the other was tucked under his leg.

"I know I said that we could take this slow. And I still want to. But the thought of anyone else...." He pauses to look down towards your bare legs wrapped around the pillow. He takes his hands and runs them  up to your thighs, pressing them down, and stopping just before the folds of your lap. He brushes his thumbs against your skin intimately and then looks you in the eyes.

"I would just like to be the only one who makes you feel good. Not just in a sexual sense. All around. Because Song....you make me feel everything" his eyebrows lift to emphasize his words.

Your heart is pounding and a dull ache thrums within it. When your bottom lip slips in between your teeth, Namjoon can't help himself. He leans in and brushes the tip of his nose against yours.

Instinctively you tilt up to meet his lips with your own. Kissing him wasn't an answer and he knew that, but it felt right. His lips move against yours carefully and you sigh against him then pull back.

An expression of confusion and hurt flashes across Namjoons face.

"But...you don't feel the same..." he says lowly.
Truth is, you don't know what you felt.

"Namjoon.." you sigh. Words fail you as you look into his sad eyes desperately. As if he could tell you what to say.

"I see." He says, leaning away from you.

No no no

"I'm not saying no Namjoon...I just... there's so much that we don't know about each other. And to be honest I'm kind of afraid of...My past is..well it's complicated."

You look down at the pillow, loosening your grip on it and no longer feeling as self-conscious.

"And I don't want that to taint what we have. I like this..how we are." You finish, reaching to grab Namjoons's hand.

He takes yours welcomingly and pulls you closer. The pillow falls from your lap and he swats it to the floor, making you giggle.

"I want to know everything about you Song. Everything. I doubt there's anything you could tell me that would change how I feel about you right now." Namjoon says genuinely.

You weren't sure, but something in the way Namjoon spoke just now was setting you on fire inside. The heat begins seeping through your pores and pooling at the center of your pleasure zone.

You wanted him in every sense of the word.

Yes, You were terrified.

But the look in his eyes and the warmth of his touch was giving you a sense of security that no one had ever given you.