𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

AKALA KO'Y BAHAY KO

I'm now watering my plants in our yard and I suddenly heard someone crying and I was like—like what the heck? Ako lang kaya dito sa bahay and it was just 5:00 in the afternoon. I took a deep breath and talk to myself.

"No, Eyzie. No time for kilabot thing! Ghost doesn't exist okay—"

"AAAHHH!"

Napasigaw ako sa gulat ng marinig kong bumukas ang gate habang papalapit ang tunog ng isang b-bata? Wait don't tell me—"

"T-TYANAK?"

AAAAAAH! MOM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU? IF I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, I SHOULD'VE NEVER DISOBEYED YOU—

"WAAAAAAH! HUHUHUHU!"
But what the heck! That t'yanak that I thought, turned into a handsome cute little angel‽

"HAHAAHAHA!" I laughed like crazy.

"I knew it! I'm right! Ghost doesn't exist but angels are. HAHAHAHAHA!"

I keep on talking to myself—calming myself to be exact.

"Daddy! *sniff* w-where's my dad?" Oh! Tingnan mo nga naman oh! Sa sobrang ganda at bait ko pati anghel kinakausap ako. Tsk.tsk.tsk.

"Ajumma please call my dad. Jaebaaaal!"

W-what? D-did he call me a-ajumma? Don't underestimate me guys! I know what it means. And he should've called me Agassi or yeppuda unni instead! Ha!

WTH! Ako marunong akong manapak eh! Gusto ko lang kayo i-inform guys! Kahit cute na mga bata talaga eh sinasapak ko rin paminsan minsan eh.

"Hey! You cute little handsome with an 'angel look' kid!" I pointed my finger on him. H'wag kayo magulo marunong din ako kunyari mag English. Char, Syempre marunong talaga ako. Tingnan natin! Makikita n'yo!

"Bakit nandito ka at—oo tama bat nandito ka?"

"What did you say?" Aish! Napasapo ako sa noo. Tsk. Mukhang madidiscover ang kagalingan ko sa pag English ah.
Loko ’tong cute na batang 'to ah. Let's see then.

"*Aheem*" syempre I should have cleared my throat first.

"Look cute kiddo. Uhm..." ano nga bang itatanong ko? Tas English pa? Aish!

"...may kuya kang gwapo?" Paaak! Pati ako napatigil sa tanong ko.

Anubayan! Hindi bale. Mukhang Hindi naman 'to nakaiintindi ng Tagalog. Mukhang Korean pero Englishero mga p're! Eto na nga i-English-in ko na nga.

"Why are you here?" Oha? Hanga na siguro sakin 'tong batang to. Tsk.tsk tsk.

"I'm looking for my dad . I wonder if he's here."

"You're looking for you're d-dad? " Napasapo nanaman ako sa noo.

Mygad Cassie! Never in my life na pinagarap kong maging kabit! For pete's sake! Pano ko ba i e-explain sa batang 'to na wala kaming relasyon ng Daddy n'ya‽

"Excuse me, kiddo, but you've got a wrong place. This isn't a police station. And I don't have an affair with your dad! My gosh! Bata pa 'ko! I'm just eighteen! Kapag mga 20's na pwede na. charot! Ano, uhmm...I didn't see your dad! You go away na."

Hanuraw? Hindi naman ako nakash4bu pramis.

"HUHUHUHU!!" Ayan naiyak na ata sa English ko, tsk. Sabi ko na nga ba dapat noon palang kina ibigan ko na si pareng dictionary eh. Aish! I can't really stand hearing a kid weeping . Lalo na’t cute. Nako malay natin may kuya 'tong gwapo di ba? WAHAHAAHAHAHA!

Nilapitan ko s'ya.
And infairnessssh mga besh! Perfectionist huh? Mukhang hihintayin ko 'tong lumaki a? What do you think guys? Hmm.

"Ganito nalang, I will...show you the world—charot. I will ano nalang. Uhm, help you find your dad."

"JINJA?" He said excitedly and I nodded. Waah! Ang cute mga p're! Ang perfect! Flawless ang fesslak mga p're!
And I can't help myself but to

"AAAAAAAAAAWWW! Why did you do that?"

"Ang cute mo kasing bata ka eh! Sarap mong gawing keychain!"

"What?"

"Ah, I said, I just killed the ant on your cheek. Yes, that's right. Hehehe. So, let's go look for your dad?"

His brows furrowed but suddenly nodded and hold my hand

"Sure, ajumma let's go—"

"UNNI!!!" sigaw ko na s'yang ikinagulat n'ya.

"You should call me unni okay? Yeppuda unni. Okay??"

"Yeppuda? But you're not—"

"Whatever! Just call me Yeppuda Unni! If you want to find your dad!"

"Neh. Neh. Arasseo! Yeppuda unni!"

"Yaaaan! Gan'yan! Matuto kang sumunod sa magandang tulad ko!"

"What did you sa—"

"I said let's go."

At ayon nga hinawakan ko s'ya sa kamay and I was about to open the gate when—

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
There's this guy na nagmamadaling pumasok and since I was about to open the gate and he's rushing, he accidentally bumped into me and we both fell and—

We...

We...

We....

Charot.
We just fell.

Agad ko s'yang tinulak at saka ako tumayo. What the heck! Muntik na kaming magkiss! Sayang! Dejoke.

Nilagay ko ang buhok ko sa mukha ko para matabunan ang namumula kong mukha. Pakshet besh! Si krass 'tong kaharap ko! Syempre kikiligin ang split ends ko!

"Ahm.."

"DAD!" This cute kiddo suddenly approach him at kinarga n'ya at kiniss si little cute kid.

"H-he's your son?"

"Tss!" That's just his answer and rolled his eyes.

WTH! H-he's his dad? Does it mean, m-may anak na si krass?
Waaaaaah! ANDWAEEEE! HINDI PWEDE 'TOOOO!!!!

Later, binaba n'ya na rin 'to and he looked straight to my eyes. Naks! Napatitig nanaman si krass sa kagandahan ko.

"What are you doing here?"

"A-ano?"

"Deaf?" He said with one of his brows up.

"Ah, ano nga ulit?"

"I don't wanna repeat myself? Now, answer me."

Napayuko ako and, waaah! Someone out there please help me get out of here!!! Kasi hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nagka-crush sa masungit na nilalang na 'to eh.
He's so ano eh, napaka sungit! Look I'm his wife but then he treats me like this? Wae? Wae? Wae?

"Ahm, ano. Ahmm..."

Waaaaaah! What should I say?

"Will you please stop saying that 'ahm' at sagutin mo ako?" Kunot noo n'yang sabi.

"Srsly? Sige! Sige! Oo! Oo! "

"What? What are you talking 'bout?"

"Eh, s-sinagot lang naman kita eh, sabi mo stop saying 'ahm' at sagutin kita. I'm just being, you know, obedient. Yea!" Nag rock n roll gesture pa ako.

"Stupid."

"A-ano? Hoy!! Porket gwapo ka at kahit pa crush kita! Wala kang karapatang sabihan ako ng stupid! Jugulae?"

He smirked.

"Jugulae? Why? You're going to kill me? I bet you can't. Eh patay na patay ka nga sa 'kin eh, right?"

Ha! Ang kapal!

"Anyway, thank you for taking care of my nephew and for watering the plants." He said at saka ako tinalikuran. WTH!

Magsasalita pa sana ako pero napansin kong nangalahati na ang laman ng timba ko. Tsk. May butas nga pala yon! Padabog ko iyong kinuha at tuluyan ng lumabas.

Yeah right. Naki igib Lang po ako.

-mean-
February 23, 2020