2| 𝙊𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙖 𝘼𝙧𝙠𝙝𝙖𝙢 |

| Chapter XXV | dear diary let's talk about heartbreak

̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y ̶W̶h̶y  ̶W̶h̶y̶W̶h̶y

I loved him. But he's in love with someone else. My heart is broken, it has been broken into a million pieces and I don't think I'll ever be happy every again. I really thought he was the one, but someone had to steal him from me. Why can't I have someone? I don't want to do anything but cry, cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. 

I love him. I can't just unlove him. 

I am going to be alone forever. I will never find anyone that will take any interest in me again. I'm gonna die alone.

 ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶ ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶ ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶ ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶̶A̶̶l̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e  ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e  ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e. ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e  ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e  ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e  ̶A̶l̶o̶n̶e

I wish I didn't feel things like love. I wish I hadn't met him, stupid man. If I hadn't fallen for him I wouldn't be feeling such sadness and pain. I don't want to feel like this. I was so happy, I had my sister, my friend, and him. But now I've lost him and I'm left with this giant hole in my heart. I wish I didn't love him, I should've told him my feelings sooner. I wish these feelings would just stop. I wish I could be happy again, but it seems that all the people I love tend to leave me. My mother died, my sister left me, my grandmother died and put me in a mental hospital, and now him. 

 ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶ ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m  ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m ̶H̶i̶m

I'm just feeling so many things right now and I want them all to stop. Joan is knocking on my door for days, but she just won't understand. She doesn't know what being in love feels like, to have your heartbeat so fast for someone only to have it destroyed by the person. She can't help me, no one can. I just wish my mind would shut up and heart to stop feeling. It hurts. It's too much.

̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p  ̶S̶t̶o̶p

I'm not a bad person. I just feel too much sometimes.

̶̶̶I̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶ry ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶̶̶I'̶̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶ ̶I'̶̶m s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶̶I'̶̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m   ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y   ̶̶I'̶̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y   ̶I'̶m  ̶ s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶I'̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶̶I'̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶̶I'̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶I'̶m ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y   ̶̶I'̶̶m  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶̶y ̶̶  s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶̶y   ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶̶y   ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶̶s̶̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y   ̶s̶̶o̶r̶r̶y   ̶s̶̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶ s̶̶o̶r̶r̶y   ̶̶s̶̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y  ̶̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y   ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y    ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y   ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y  ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶̶y——————————

 I have to go diary.