Irrational

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Rosa's P.O.V.

"Y-Yeah?", I answered my phone sleepily.

"Where the fuck are you!?", Damon exclaimed. I looked at the time, almost midnight,

"Shit-"

SMACK!

"Ow!"

"Watch your mouth.", Gabe mumbled, half asleep.

"I-I'm sorry Damon. We fell asleep. I'm on my way-"

"I'll come get you."

"No it's fine-"

"I'm coming to get you Rosa. That's final."

~~~~~~~~

Gabe held my arms gently as we stood on the porch,

"I'm sorry. Please call me if you need me."

"It was my fault too. I will." He gently wiped a tear from my cheek,

"It'll be okay." He walked me to the car as Damon got out. "I love you.", he whispered, kissing my head as I got in.

"I love you too." He stood outside the car as Damon closed his door too,

"I've really trusted you Gabe."

"I know. I'm sorry. We really did just fall asleep. It-It was a rough day and clearly it didn't get any better. She's really scared and a lot is going on in her head right now that you need to take into consideration before you freak out on her." He was kinda angry.

"Like what?"

"That's for her to tell you. I already spanked her twice today. Maybe just talk to her Damon. She could really use it right now."

"O-Okay." Gabe hesitated before going back inside as Damon got in the car. I laid on the door, peering down as he sat next to me, silent. "Are you okay?", he asked. I nodded,

"Yes. I'm fine.", I whispered, wiping tears off my face.

"I don't believe you.", he laughed dryly, "And I-I don't understand why you keep lying to me about that shit Rosa." He pulled out of the driveway, sighing, "You-You trusted me so much before and now that you're here and I'm completely responsible for you, you won't. You just keep slipping further and further away and I don't know how to get you back. You-You realize I can't lose you, right? You're like another sister to me."

"I-I know. You won't."

"It feels like I am." I hesitated,

"I-I was going to kill myself today. That's why I went to Gabe's."

"W-Why?"

"I don't know.", I squeaked, "I love my life now. I-I love my family and my boyfriend and everything, so so much. And I'm so grateful for it all. So I don't understand why I wanted to die so bad."

"I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow. It's getting out of hand and you need real help, okay?"

"O-Okay."

"I don't want you alone tonight. Sleep in my room or the living room, okay?"

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~

'Will you make up a reason for me to come home? I don't wanna be here.'

'Damon'

"Yeah?", I answered as the girls got quiet.

"I need you to come home. The weather is supposed to get bad and I really don't want you anywhere but at home. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Are you coming to get me or..."

"Yeah. I'm on my way."

"Okay." I hung up and looked to the others sadly, "Damon wants me home in case the weather gets bad. He's been kinda on edge about me not being home lately. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, not your fault.", Marley said softly, smiling. I nodded, gathering my stuff and sitting by the door. I tried tuning out the laughter and fun conversations from the next room but, it wasn't really an option.

"Hey, you okay kid?", Marley's dad asked coming in. I nodded,

"Yeah. Damon wants me home tonight so I'm just waiting in here."

"Not feeling like part of the group?", he asked. Jaden was a therapist and a single dad. He was pretty cool.

"Yeah.", I muttered, "It's fine. I knew I wouldn't be." He sat next to me on the steps,

"She's still your friend."

"I know. And I have a great time here when it's just us. But when her better friends come around, I get kicked out of the group. It's just really obvious she could do without me."

"She'd miss you so much. You're a great friend. I think Mar is focusing on social status and not valuable friends right now. She'll come to her senses eventually. Besides, I think you both have a lot going on right now, yeah?" I nodded,

"Yeah.", I laughed a little.

"How is... everything?"

"A little better. Everyone is just really stressed out. I'm not helping."

"It's not your fault. I really wish you'd talk to Damon about going to therapy. I don't care if you come to me or not, but if not I have people in mind who I think would be good for you. I just think you need someone to talk to you. A professional."

"I-I'm working on it. I know I should. If I do go, I'll come to you." He bumped me gently,

"I'll give you the family discount." I smiled softly as headlights came through the window,

"That's Damon." We both got up as I went to the door, Jaden following.

"You're not gonna tell the others bye?" I shrugged,

"What's the point?" He nodded,

"Talk to Damon."

"I-I will." He hugged me tightly,

"Night kid. Be careful."

"Night J." I walked out to the car as Jaden waited until I got in before going inside.

"Not fun?"

"Being ignored and deleted from memories everyone else is reminiscing? Not really.", I muttered. He glanced at me sternly as I sighed, "I-I'm sorry. I just had a really bad night. I hate putting myself in situations where I'm not wanted but I just want them to want me so, so bad. I just wanna be included. I know that's stupid-"

"It is not. It's natural to wanna be included. They're missing out, you're fucking awesome." I smiled softly,

"You have to say that."

"Yeah but I would anyways."

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