#UM26
Mommy:
Where are you?
Mommy:
You're making us worried. Hindi ka man lang makapagtext kung nasaan ka? Hindi ka pa matawagan.
Mommy:
Sileas, I am warning you. Answer my damn calls and tell me where you are exactly!
Iyon ang sunod-sunod na mensahe nang buksan ko ang cell phone. Marami pang text doon mula kay Gunther, Papa, Tita Fili at Chance.
Tita Fili:
Nak, kung may problema ka, puwede mo akong mapagsabihan. Ilang oras ka na raw wala sa inyo at hindi pa umuuwi gabing-gabi na. May nangyari ba?
Papa:
Where are you? I'm gonna book a flight there.
Tanging text lang ni Papa ang sinagot ko, ayaw ko siyang abalahin pa sa pagpunta rito. Wala namang nangyaring masama sa akin at sa totoo lang, dadagdag lang iyon sa sama ng loob ko.
Hindi ko tanda kung anong oras na ako nakauwi pero umaga na iyon, inihatid ako ni Heidden sa village kaya hindi ko na kinailangan tawagan o itext ang driver para magpasundo. Wala rin naman akong balak.
I just spent the whole night at the rooftop until the sky turned cold blue, I was comforting myself in mind. Ang sama-sama ng loob ko, puno ng maraming insecurities at pait. Heidden left me for minutes and brought me food and drinks for breakfast, we were just talking about random stuff and eventually went silent—after eating, I decided to go home. Just like that, I didn't feel alone with Heidden.
It was peaceful, some realization really dawned me. I just want a peaceful life and ambiance everywhere, I don't wanna taste bitter days anymore. Gusto kong mawalan ng pake para hindi na sumama ang loob ko ulit.
"Hindi ka ba nag-iisip?" iyon ang bungad ni Mommy nang nasa hapagkainan na para sa umagahan.
I only had two hours of sleep and back to reality, I need to go to my class today.
I didn't talk, I continued eating.
"What time did you go home? Six? Without telling us where did you stay up all night? I even called Chance and knew that you weren't answering his calls, too."
Hindi pa rin ako sumagot, matunog niyang binaba ang mga kubyertos. Gabbani and Gunther were just listening, one of them was silently mocking me.
"Where did you stay at?" Mommy asked sternly. "Who are you with? Hindi ako maniniwala kung idadahilan mo ang mga kaibigan dahil tinawagan ko sila para alamin iyon."
I pursed my lips, I'm just so tired of everything since yesterday and today. Can't she let this pass?
"Mahirap bang sagutin ang tanong ko?"
Gabbani smirked soundly. "Baka may iba ng boyfriend? Wala ang boyfriend niya, ilang linggo na. Hindi siguro nakatiis."
I threw her a cold glare. "Will you shut the fuck up?"
Namilog ang mga mata nila sa biglaan kong pagsasalita, Gabbani gasped in disbelief while looking at me. Akala niya siguro ay pangungunahan pa rin ako ng takot na magsalita ng ganoon sa harapan nila.
Why would I? They can't even see my situation, they can't feel how they're making me feel inside this home!
"Sileas Pallavi!" Mommy's voice thundered.
Padabog kong binaba ang mga kubyertos ko at tiningnan si Mommy.
"I wanna move out of here, let me live with P-Papa or let me just live alone in a dorm. Basta, ayaw ko na rito," matigas kong sinabi. "Ayaw na kitang kasama, lalo na si Gabbani. I can just live without you! Sawang-sawa na ako sa bahay na ito! You're making me feel so out of place, that I shouldn't be here whenever the other Aunties and Uncles are here because they don't like my presence!"
