#UM19
"Sinabi ko noon na ayaw kong mag-law kaso ako ang maiiba sa kanila lalo..." malungkot kong sinabi. "Ako nga lang ang Villareal sa puder nila, ako lang kasi iyong anak sa labas—iyong anak sa pagkakamali, ako lang 'yung hindi matalino."
My heart heaved, I don't know what to think. I've been paranoid for the whole week, expecting the failed results of my exam. Ang bigat ng dibdib ko sa araw-araw, hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay kulang na kulang ang effort ko nitong pangalawang taon ko at pakiramdam kong hindi talaga kakayanin.
I was sitting on Chancent's left thigh while telling him stories about my life and he was listening to me with full attention, this is my most favorite seat everytime we're spending time in his condo; I always look tiny on his lap.
"I know but didn't I tell that you were never a mistake? You were born to be Sileas, not your parents' mistake," he stated certainly.
Hindi ko naman mapigilang maramdaman iyon na parang kahit anong subok kong pumasok sa lugar na hindi para sa akin ay hindi talaga ako tanggap nito. Look at me, I'm not even confident with everything while my siblings graduated law without a sweat!
I pouted sadly and nodded like a kid, pinunasan niya ang luha sa mga pisngi ko at hinalikan ang ilong ko.
"You should stop thinking bad about your existence because you matter so much to me now, it hurts to hear that." He poked my cheek using his nose. "Sinasaktan mo ako!"
I sobbed with a chuckle, huminto ako sa pag-iyak at natawa nang makitang masama ang tingin niya.
"Parang tanga, Chancent!"
He pouted to offer his lips, I gladly kissed it and smiled genuinely. Kahit kakatapos ko lang umiyak at magdrama, kapag nandiyan talaga siya ay pumapayapa ang kalooban ko.
"Thank you for making me feel better..."
He smiled and pulled me, sumandal ako sa kanyang dibdib habang ang mga braso niya ay pumulupot sa aking baywang at namahinga ang mga kamay sa tiyan ko—humawak din ako sa kamay niya at napangiti na lang. We looked at the sunset together while enjoying the touch of cold wind on the balcony that day.
My favorite days are like this, with him in a peaceful view of the city in front.
"I admire you very much, I'm so proud of you." He inhaled on my hair, he gently put my hair on the other side so he could kiss and nuzzle my nape.
I shuddered at the touch of his nose and warm breath as my heart began to melt by his words.
"Kahit minsan disappointing ang ugali ko at hindi ako matalino?"
"You say disappointing words and actions but we don't stop growing and improving. And you know what, I think you didn't notice..." He chuckled lightly. "You worry about the money I spend on our dates now, dati palagi kang nagrereklamo na hindi na kita dinadala sa mamahaling kainan pero ngayon ikaw na ang namimilit na fast food na lang."
I gasped and turned my head on him shockingly.
"I did?"
He nodded, chuckling. "Yes, or you just learned to love Mcdo and Jollibee so bad?"
Ngumuso ako at muling tumingin sa harapan.
"Masarap 'yong chicken sa Jollibee, masarap 'yung burgers sa Mcdo. I love them both but I'm thinking about your hard work more, I can't really understand why you're working in the construction! I hate seeing you so dirty and sweaty!"
I really hate seeing him so tired, he was carrying heavy metals and hollow blocks when in fact he should be staying in his own office—reading documents and other stuff in the company. Naaawa ako sa kanya kapag marumi at pawisan siya, madalas pang pagod.
