#UM28
I was shaking, hindi ko na ramdam at dinig ang mga pangyayari—nakita ko na lang na umalis ang sasakyan dala si Gabanni at Gunther pagtapos ng ilang minuto lamang ay sumunod naman sina Daddy na buhat ang naghahabol hininga na Lolo, sinakay rin sa sasakyan at lahat sila'y kapwa taranta. Ni hindi pa alam ang nangyari kay Gabanni.
"Oh my, God!" iyak ni Lola habang nagmamadali sa paglabas ng double doors, agad niya akong namataan at dinuro. "I don't know what would I do to you! Ipagdasal mo lang na walang mangyaring masama kay Gordon!"
I couldn't cry, I was just shaking in fear.
"Let's go, Mom!" Mommy was teary eyed as she pulled Lola downstairs to get in the car, she looked away and nodded at our housemaid. Marahan akong hinawakan sa braso ng kasambahay at inalo, tuluyang sumakay si Mommy sa sasakyan at umalis iyon.
I was left in the middle of the chaos I made.
Tama lang ito sa akin, ang sama ko kasi. Nagpadala ako sa lahat ng emosyon ko at hindi ko napigilan sumabog.
"Ma'am Pallavi, doon na po tayo sa loob."
Hindi ko iyon pinansin at mabilis akong umiwas sa takot, kahit nanginginig ay mabilis akong bumaba. Panay ang sigaw ng kasambahay namin, tumakbo na ako para makatakas. I don't wanna be jailed, hindi pa nila alam ang nagawa ko kay Gabanni—tanging si Gunther lang ang sumunod sa amin kanina kaya hindi imposibleng lalo nila akong kamumuhian sa nagawa.
Paano kung hindi lang siya dinugo? Paano kung hindi mailigtas ang baby niya? Oh, God! Please! Ayaw kong makulong, alam kong galit na si Gabanni sa akin simula't sapul kaya kapag napahamak ang baby niya ay hindi iyon papayag na hindi ako makulong!
Iyak ako nang iyak habang tumatakbo palayo ng village at iyon din ang saktong pagbuhos ng malakas na ulan kaya lalo akong nahabag, I took a cab when I got out of the village. My hands were shaking as I dialed Chance's number, I'm so fucking hopeless.
It was off and I remember that he doesn't have a cell phone, naiwan nga pala iyon kay Patch. It made me cry more, thinking that Chance isn't here anymore. Nagpababa ako sa condominium na tinuluyan niya, sana hindi pa siya nakakaalis ng Davao.
I need him so bad right now.
Basang-basa ako at parang binagsakan ng bagyo, pinagtitinginan man ng ilang tao roon ay nagpatuloy ako sa elevator. My heart was crying painfully, I made a lot of damn mess and I'll be hated more for what happened today.
Sobrang malas kong tao, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako pinaparusahan ng ganito. I know that anger and pain consumed me and all I wanted was to hurt everyone around me but don't I have a right to be angry? May kapalit agad ang lahat.
I reached Chance's unit and clicked the buzzer, ilang beses kong inulit iyon hanggang sa ako na mismo ang kumatok sa pinto noon dahil sa frustrations.
"Chance, please! You're here!" I said in frustration and hopelessness.
I was banging his door desperately until I cried harder, walang Chancent na nagbukas doon. I sat on the ground, brought my knees up to cover my face and cried alone.
He's not here anymore, he left Davao and what would I expect? That he'd stay here even I hurt him?
Minutes passed, I was just crying there when my cell phone vibrated. Para akong batang nag-angat ng tingin at kinuha ang cell phone ko, it feels like a damn companion in the center of the storm.
"Sileas," it was Papa's worried voice.
My lips trembled, I cried even without starting.
"P-Papa! I don't wanna be jailed, please. Help me out of here, I don't wanna be here anymore!" I was crying, my shoulders were shaking. "Take me out of here, please."
