#UM27
Bago pa makarating ng bahay ay tinuyo ko na ang luha, I'm still so mad and hurt... lonely and damn stressed. I don't know how to end this day, I just wanna start hurting and failing every expectations—including myself.
I've been expecting assurances, in all aspect, to make the family proud so I'd have a voice to them after doing what they want but everything suddenly went black. Ganoon siguro talaga kapag napapagod na at kahit napapagod ay walang matanggap na kahit ano, I wasn't expecting to be titled inside the family—I just wanna be noticed, I just wanna be visible.
They have eyes but they can't see me, they have senses but they never used it on me. They are a bunch of numb people.
Lalo pa akong emosyonal nang makitang tahimik ang mansyon at tanging ilang kasambahay ang naiwan, ibig sabihin noon ay wala talaga silang naging pakealam sa akin at nagpatuloy ang kanilang araw na tila walang nangyari.
"Ma'am Sileas, nakauwi na po pala kayo..." sambit ng nakakitang kasambahay sa akin.
I ignored her and went upstairs with my shaking emotions, nagkulong ako sa kuwarto buong araw at nakatulog na lamang sa kaiiyak at sama ng loob. I woke up at eight in the evening and checked my cell phone, may mga mensahe roon mula sa iba-ibang tao at hindi kilalang numero.
Text ni Heidden ang kumuha ng atensyon ko.
Heidden:
Felt better?
I inhaled and ignored the text, may mga text pang mula kay Patch pero diretso kong binura dahil wala akong balak magdagdag ng galit sa dibdib ko. I also received an email from Chancent that I didn't expect, it made my heart jump.
From: Chancent Arlow
Talk to me.
My eyes heated, kanina pa iyong hapon. Wala akong balak kausapin siya dahil masyado pang sariwa ang sugat sa puso ko mula sa lahat ng nangyari. Tumulala ako sa kisame ng silid, naiisip ang nagawa kanina. I fucking hate how I used Heidden to hurt Chancent, it was a wrong and bad decision but it already happened.
I don't need to explain myself. Kung anong nakita nila, iyon na iyon. That was my damn choice to kiss Heidden so I could create a mess in between, I used it to cover my pain and anger but it didn't make me feel any better. Wala lang, parang ginawa ko lang iyon para may ganti.
"Miss Pallavi, gising na ho ba kayo?"
Nilingon ko ang saradong pinto ngunit hindi nagsalita, nanatili ako sa pagkakahiga at muling tumingala sa kisame.
"Miss Pallavi, pinatatawag na po kayo ni Ma'am Gabanna para maghapunan."
Hindi ko alam pero sarkastiko ko iyong pinabulaanan.
"Sige..." kalmado kong sinabi.
I stared more at the ceiling for minutes before I decided to go downstairs, tahimik akong naglakad patungong dining area. I was surprised when I saw Chance there, with them.
How fucking funny that I could feel his care more than anyone in the area right now—his presence makes me feel so soft and warm, my knees trembled a bit as our eyes crossed. Hindi ko pinahalata ang gulat sa kanyang presensya at kaswal na tinungo ang upuan, sa tabi ni Gabbani.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Chancent while sitting casually. "You're not welcome, anymore."
I'm still mad at him, he should've let the day pass! 'Tsaka bakit pa siya nagpunta? What I did was unacceptable and unforgivable!
"Pallavi..." Gunther sighed.
I smirked a bit and shrugged. "Stop being pathetic, Chance. You saw me kissing your cousin, clearly. There's nothing to fix now, it doesn't have a justification!"
