Omega's Broken Soul [MxM] (Moon Cave Book 1)

Chapter 32

A/N: Hey guys! So, this book is getting a lot of attention which is really surprising and a great motivator to keep writing so thanks for choosing to read - even though it is by no means perfect 💜

However, as the readers increase, so do the comments. This is just a quick reminder to be respectful to one another. Its okay to have debates about the story line, swap theories and disagree on certain aspects to the book. But please be nice to one another and understand each other too! Try to refrain from arguing! All good vibes between each other please! 😘💕

Raven POV

I was hurting.

There was no doubt about it. There was this clenching, aching pain in my heart that reminded me over and over that my soulmate hated me.

Although Amari hadn't outwardly admitted as such in a while - since the beginning of this mess - it was evident that those feelings towards me still stood.

I had been blamed for a lot of things. For mom's death, for our supposed weaknesses. Everything that went wrong was my fault because I was an omega. It wasn't the world making me feel shit for who I was - it was Amari.

And what's worse, the traits that he hated were part of my DNA. I couldn't help it because it was who I am.  Amari hating the fact that I was different to him, was the equivalent to being told that I, as a wolf, was not good enough. Maybe I would never be good enough.

Amari didn't let us shift for ten years. That sort of oppression, being locked up in a dark place without being able to interact with anyone else apart from Amari and his demeaning words was soul crushing. It was the kind of thing that happens and you know that its wrong - that other wolves dont go through similar trauma - but you can't do anything about it because you're powerless.

If a human were to lock their dog in a cage for ten years and leave him there, it would be considered abuse. Amari locked me away for ten years, but it's okay because he's hurting and it was all Raven's fault in the first place. 

Maybe I did put myself in that situation. I let it happen because I was meek and couldn't stand up for myself, not even against Amari.

Even now. Hearing Amari complain to Luka and Izaak about all of my faults and everything I had supposedly done wrong, hurt. Especially because we were both partly at fault for the strain in our relationship. Not being able to defend myself or even tell my side to the story - how I felt, made me a feel so irrelevant. Like I didn't matter.

I was tired of this.

I was tired of being made to feel guilty because of my timid personality. I'm tired of being told to grow a back bone because I'd rather talk and be kind then be aggressive and confrontational. I was tired of being told that I dragged Amari down.

It is said that the moon goddess chooses soulmates to share a body because she believes the wolf soul and the human soul will be strong and powerful together. They'll balance each other out and create harmony. Maybe she was wrong when she paired Amari and I together. Our personalities weren't alike at all and our differences were tearing us apart.

Amari was the main host. We lived as human, the wolf as the alternative shift. Amari held the most power as the main host and he'd made it known that he could use this physical advantage over me. Even now he was exerting that power.

I'd asked to shift so that I could spend some time with Izaak since Amari had spent all evening with Luka after he brought us to his mother's house. I just needed some comfort while I felt so low. I needed reassurance. Amari denied me of that comfort. He shoved me back and blocked me from his consciousness. I couldn't talk to him anymore, only listen to his and Luka's muffled conversation.