Pain || Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

twenty-one

tears streamed down you cheeks as you stared at the mess before you. the limp, familiar, thing that kept you alive... D/N. he/she lay before, her/his fur a tangled mess of knots. at least his/her eyes were closed... just from her/his head she/he looked like he/she was sleeping.

you wrapped your arms around your waist, trying to keep yourself together as you walked over to the dog. a shaky hand stretched towards the F/C fur. running a hand through the dry tangle, you whispered things to your dog. many things. things your mom used to say to make the demon's vanish. your breath was shaky but amongst the pain you forced yourself to smile as you spoke. slowly getting louder, but breaking more often. everyone had left you alone, they went into the kitchen of the backup base just in case you needed them.

"you were such a good dog, you didn't deserve this." you said, trying to keep the demons at bay, "at least your in a better place... escaping from such a cruel world... i'm sorry i wasn't there to help you through your pain. i'm sorry i wasn't there to gently put you down to rest. i'm... sorry i couldn't.... cuddle you... one... last... time..." your voice broke and you let out a sob. you lay on D/N, wrapping your arms around her/him protectively in a hug that you hoped wouldn't end. everything was a blur... all you could hear was your hysterical crying and screaming as you held your dog close to you.

"Y/N...?" it was Yuii. her voice was soft and gentle as she knelt in front of you. she rested a hand on D/N.

"can you revive things...?"

"i wish... if i could D/N wouldn't be gone." she frowned and suddenly pulled you into a hug, "i'm so sorry... i know how much D/N meant to you."

"it... it's okay." you hugged her back and stroked her hair lightly. Jesus you felt like her mom.

"you can decide if you want to bury D/N or... you know... a cremation."

"bury her/him..."

"okay... again, you can decide when."

"the sooner the better... i don't know how much longer i can look at her/him..." your voice broke as you spoke, the demons racking up your heart and disposing it in the hole.

"okay..." she seemed rather quite and more tense than usual, compared to her calm self.

"everything okay, Yuii?"

"what? yeah... everythings fine." she said that with a sort of tone that made you feel like something was wrong. you hugged her again, stroking her hair, just like your mom would do if you felt upset. her hair was soft and you could have sworn she was crying, her head laying on your shoulder. you smiled to your self and rested your head on her's, humming the familiar song your mom used to sing. she calmed down and looked at you, then D/N, sighing before looking at the floor. 

"you know... there are many things you don't know..." she spoke in a quite, uneasy whisper, almost as if she was refraining from saying it all.

"what do you mean?"

"you have no idea what happens when you're asleep... with me and Shigaraki... no idea what happens at the end..."

"end of what?"

"you wont understand, Y/N..." she sighed and stood up, "but i'll show you a bit of what happens when you aren't/weren't around." she took the shoulder of her jumper and pulled it down over her arm until you saw a mismatch of scars on her back. some were big, others were small, all carrying a story she didn't want anyone to know. "not only those... but i didn't always have some many quirks..."

"well... what happened with those scars first off..?" you asked, dreading the answer.

"he's not abusive... i promise. most of those are self inflicted..." she pulled her jumper back up, covering the never vanishing stories with the cotton, before continuing, "so... what i mean is when i get upset, or i'm in pain, my skin seems to... break. it falls apart and in the end, due to regeneration, they heal again. it's a cycle..." she trailed off and went quite, not saying anymore.

"what about the ones that aren't self inflicted...?"

"my dad... he makes me fight him or Dabi. to test out my quirks."

"ah okay... you really should tell someone."

"i know... but i can't. that would be ratting them out."

"that is classed as abuse."

"he didn't mean it!"

"did he apologise?"

"no..." she looked away again, her green eyes glazed with frustration.

"then he did mean it... for some reason he wanted to hurt you."

"to test my quirks... i'm going..." she stood up and picked D/N up, walking away. Leaving you alone.