Good Girls #1: Finding Rhyme

Kabanata 28

Kabanata 28

Missed

The summer wind blew and the birds chirps. In not so far tree, I can hear the strums of a guitar. I rested my back in the back rest of the bench I am sitting and stared blankly for a while.

I sighed and remember what happened back in the graduation. Is he serious with that? Ayaw kong maniwala. It seems wrong.

The park in Manila is not that quiet when summer, but today, it feels like they know my heart need this solemnest. My heart beats so wildly and at the same time cries. Simula pa noong natapos niyang sabihin ang mga salitang iyon, sa hindi malamang dahilan, nagsimula na namang maging malungkot ang puso ko.

When his mother called him, walang pagaalinlangan siyang tumalikod at iwan ko. Hindi rin pa halos pumapasok sa akin ang totoong nangyari ay nagtatakbo na ako pabalik sa aking magulang habang umiiyak. I don't know why I am suddenly hurt. Dapat ay masaya ako pero hindi iyon ang naramdaman ko, sabagkus ay parang may nagkulang. Parang hindi kumpleto.

May marahang kamay ang humawak sa aking balikat dahilan nang pagkakabalik ko sa wisyo. The sun is directly hitting the land and trees. The few families are sitting and having fun in their mats, some are taking pictures, and some friends are laughing. It makes me wonder how sad my position here is. Blanko ang tingin sa kawalan, walang katabi o kausap man lang sa bench na inuupuan. And what's more heartbreaking is, while they are directed with sun's rays, I'm here in the shadow of a big tree, scared of being touch with the light.

"Kailan ka pa nakauwi?" A soft familiar voice is what I heard beside me.

Ibinaling ko ang tingin sa nagsalita sa aking gilid at sa halip na makaramdam ng tuwa ay nagulat lang ako.

A tall morena girl in her maong jump suit is smiling at me. It's been almost years since the last time I saw her. Madalas ko mang makita sa facebook at instagram ang kaniyang mga litrato, iba pa rin pala sa personal. Pooja changed a lot.

Ginawaran ko siya ng ngiti pabalik. Tatayo sana na rin ako kung hindi lang siya agarang umupo sa aking tabi. She looked at me with those familiar eyes I missed before.

"Noong isang araw lang. Long time no see." I said the last sentence almost in a whisper.

Last year vacation, I cried when I didn't meet them. Nang nakabalik muli dito sa Maynila ay hindi na ako umasa pang makita silang muli. It's surprising to see her in front of my eyes. Pero hindi katulad noon, wala na ang pananabik na makita ulit siya. My friends in Iloilo, especially Eros, have taught me of how real friends stick together no matter what.

I don't hate her or any of them. It's just that I realized that maybe this is life, we loss people, we met them again along the way, but things will never be the same again.

Ngumiti si Pooja at nagiwas ng tingin. She rested her back on the bench, too. A long silence stretched between us. This scene feels like there is a big wall between us that if I don't speak, she won't hear me.

"Kumusta ka na?" I asked.

"Good. Ikaw? Kumusta ang buhay mo sa Iloilo?" Tanong niya pabalik at ibinalik na sa akin ang atensiyon.

"Masaya," Then I remember my friends.

Everything happens for a reason, huh?

"Good to hear that... You changed." She commented.

"Ikaw rin."

And again, we both get silent. Maybe Eros is right, malungkot sa Maynila. Despite the chaotic and hasty city this is, everyone is behind, hiding their tears and sobs.