Always You |harry styles| - completed

TWENTY-EIGHT

Harry Styles: From the Dining Table

*Harry's P.O.V.* (A/N: it's the first time I've written from his point of view and I really don't know if I like it or if I'll continue to do so)

I woke up and she was gone, the only evidence of her ever being here was a note placed upon her pillow... 'Harry, I'll think about things while I'm home. I truly am sorry for how we ended last night's conversation. I will miss you, despite what you say. Bye, Teacup'. I ordered breakfast and coffee to my room and sat on the balcony for what felt like forever, trying to think about last night. We both said some bad things, hurting each other in the process. I didn't mean for that to happen, but I felt myself slipping deeper into love with her and I needed to know how she felt. Initially, I intended on just taking it one day at a time, letting her come to her senses on her own. I'd known I'd be falling in love with her from before New York, it was very clear to me. I also understood that it wasn't that clear for her, she had demons of her own to fight and she would need time. Two months had gone by and we still weren't at the same level, at the same stage of trust and emotions. There I was, willing to give her all the love I had to offer, but she wouldn't allow herself to even toy with the idea of loving me. Did I not give her enough space and time to work through these new and unfamiliar feelings? I wanted to love her, but I also wanted her to love me... it was an endless circle of 'does she – does she not, can she – can she not' and I had a flight to Vienna to catch.

"Hey mate, where's Thea?", Sarah and I bumped into each other on the way out of the hotel and I fought very hard to hide my true feelings.

"She had to leave for the airport very early in the morning, but she sends all her love.", I said and it felt like they believed me. It wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. I couldn't share all that happened, just yet. First, I had to figure out what I wanted to do. The only one that could help me decipher my own feelings was my mum.

"Hello darling! How have you been?", her smiling face was hidden by a pair of my sister's sunglasses. They were in France, on holiday. I hadn't seen them in so long.

"I've been okay, a bit busy. What about you? Having fun in Antibes?"

"Oh it's lovely here, Harry. Gemma says hi, by the way. What's up? You seem off...", my mother always read me like an open book, there was nothing I could hide from her.

"You know how you always say that it's never too soon to feel connected to someone...", I started, "well, I've told you about teacup, and how she's very closed off to the possibility of love, right? The thing is, I can't tell if she's even willing to love me. We had a big fight over it yesterday, I'm afraid I pushed too hard. I just don't know if I can continue with this relationship if she doesn't give away a little piece of her heart to me.".

"Love, it's never that simple when it comes to feelings. I say that it's never too soon, but people are different and they process things in different ways. Your girl might've been trying way harder on the inside than you were able to see on the outside, you have to consider that a possibility. At the same time, if you felt it was time to have that conversation then I trust you made the right decision. Give yourself, and her, some time to think things through... sleep on it and use the space you're giving each other to figure out what your next step should be. I can't tell you what to do, darling.", she was always very honest with me, only this time I wasn't liking what I was hearing. I didn't want her to be right when she mentioned teacup trying her hardest... I was just looking for someone to help me justify the way I acted last night.

If you asked me, I honestly couldn't tell you a single thing about the next couple of concerts. It's like I wasn't even present. I know they were good shows and nobody noticed how distracted I'd been... but it felt like I stepped into someone else's body before the show and shed their skin after it. Everyone just assumed I was off because she wasn't here, but they didn't question it too much. Mitch was probably the only one to figure out something was wrong, but he didn't pry. We weren't in touch, not a single text exchanged between us in the week since we'd last seen each other. I knew she was home and having a good time, judging by her social media activity. I almost called her so many times. What would I even say? Would she want to talk to me? She could've called as well... but she didn't. Maybe it was best this way.