Always You |harry styles| - completed

FORTY-SEVEN

One Direction: Truly, Madly, Deeply

After Josh and Alyssa returned home, January threw its first blow. Harry had dozens of meetings with Jeff and the label during the first two weeks of the year. He never told me anything about the meetings, which was unlike him because it was obvious something about them bothered him. He'd spent the last six hours hauled up in his studio, only coming out when he needed to pee. I wasn't going to let this slide because when I finally learned that our relationship relied so much on communication, I couldn't live without it anymore. It was funny exactly how much I fought my need to share every feeling and thought I had with Harry, in the beginning. Now I was the one walking on eggshells around him, afraid he'd break at any point but desperately hoping he'd share what was bothering him on his own. Climbing the stairs was a task I no longer took lightly, since Kaya started weighing me down.

"Okay Styles I just spent twenty minutes coming up here so we could talk. I don't want your 'uhm' or your 'nothing's the matter' and I definitely don't want the guilty looks you've been giving me the past week and a half. Spit it out.", he was caught off guard, and I realized this situation was much more serious than I thought when he didn't laugh at me calling him by his last name.

"It's nothing.", I gave him a look that could probably break spies and trained agents, "Fine, all the meetings with Jeff and the label have been stressing me out. They want a new record.".

"Okay, and do you feel like writing and creating music at the moment? Is that what this is about, you lack inspiration?", he shook his head.

"Teacup I've got a book full of songs I've written in the past half a year and I could easily come up with a new record just by releasing all the songs that never made it onto the last albums."

"Then I don't get where the problem is, Harry.", the sarcastic laugh that came out of his mouth almost broke my heart.

"The problem is that with a new record comes a shit ton of obligations. I'd have to do promo which would involve me travelling a lot. I'd have to go on a tour and I can't and don't want to do that now. I've been trying to get them to back off and they probably will, but I never want to have bad blood with my label."

"Love, the struggle you're feeling is completely normal. I can tell you're not satisfied with the songs you do have and that's no way to start working on a new record. How about you talk to Jeff and the label and propose that you write and record during this year? That way you can have a good record, one that you're proud of, by December. That gives us until April for your tour and Kaya will be one by then.", my heart really ached for him in these moments because I could see the struggle behind his eyes.

"But I don't want to leave you with her!"

"You won't be leaving us, maybe we could come with you for a few dates. You can't stay away from music just because of this big change. As I told you months ago, life doesn't have to change that drastically when it comes to work. We'll both have to be more aware of the commitments we take on, but that doesn't mean we never get to work again. The first few months are going to be an adjustment, that's certain. After that – we'll wing it. There's no need to put a hold on your career because you're becoming a father. That would be irresponsible for a number of reasons... your fans, your label, yourself, us. We all love your music, adore your creative process and can hardly wait to hear the records you create. It's your job and it's one of the most wonderful and rewarding careers out there. Don't decide something that you'll regret in five years, please.", making myself comfortable on the big fluffy chair next to him I took his hands in mine. I could almost see all the thoughts running through his mind, pulling him in a million different directions.