Unexpected // sm

Chapter 39

        A week later, I was still in bed. I couldn’t bring myself to even get out of bed other than to go to the bathroom, which was connected to my room. I couldn’t eat, all I did was lay in bed and think. Think. Think. I didn’t know how to fix myself. I was ruined, and I couldn’t fix it. I felt so powerless, so stupid. I never thought a guy could effect someone this much, and I never thought it would be me. I was never that obsessed with guys. I went from one to the next, never becoming too close. I guess that’s why it hurt so much now. I sighed.

        I hadn’t even seen Cam for the week. I had heard him moving around outside of my room, and I heard the apartment door open and close many times. I didn’t know if he just didn’t care, or if he just didn’t know how much I was hurting.  I went to the bathroom, and swallowed some of my antidepressants. The boys were supposed to leave yesterday, I think. Thank goodness. I never planned on seeing anyone of them again. Not even Matthew.

        I was too ashamed, too embarrassed. I was so greedy when it came to him. I used him so much, and I took advantage of him so often. I was horrible. I rolled over and decided to check my phone for the first time since I told Cam about everything. I turned it on, and I was astonished at the number of missed calls and messages.

27 Missed Calls From:

Shawn Mendes

23 Missed Calls From:

 Matthew

15 Missed Calls From: 

Elizabeth

From: Matthew

You need to get back here and explain. I’m sorry if I messed it up I’m sorry

 From: Matthew

I hope you’re okay. I’m sorry if it went too fast I just love you

From: Matthew

I’m worried. Please respond

From: Matthew

R you okay? Please talk to me I’m sorry 

From: Matthew

Okay I’m at the airport right now with the guys I’m sorry I hope some day we can be friends

From: Jack G

 I wanted you to know that im always here for you if you need me

From: Shawn Mendes 

What the hell happened?

From: Elizabeth

NASH JUST TOLD ME THAT MATT CALLED HIM CRYING SAYING THAT YOU LEFT HIM FOR SHAWN WTH IS GOING ON

         I felt fresh tears falling.  I raced back into the bathroom, grabbing more pills.  As if my eyes weren’t ruined enough, I couldn't even see the pills I was taking. It was so bad that I had to take out my contacts and replace them with my glasses, which I did not like at all. I never ever wore my glasses, I hadn't for at least a year. I rubbed my eyes carefully, as I went to my twitter just to see what was new. I gasped, my heart seemed to drop to my feet. No way was this happening. The first tweet, was from Taylor. 

        Okay big surprise everyone, we are staying in Cali for another month! We got on the plane, and realized we couldn't go! Sooo we’re baaaaack!