Unexpected // sm

Chapter 59

My legs started to crumble underneath me, my head pounding. I felt just like I had back in LA after overdosing on the antidepressants. Nash grabbed my side and kept me straight as we got closer and closer to the wreck. As expected, a swarm of people were trying to catch a look on the accident, running to the vehicles. I felt sick thinking that these people wanted to be in on the action. Meanwhile, my heart sunk even more when each face I saw was not Shawn's.

I knew in my head that he would have called me or found a way to get to me if he was okay. He would be on the side here, helping someone if he could. But I didn't see him anywhere. We approached an older guy in a policeman uniform standing next to the semi, his face blotched with sadness. He had a white beard coating his face, and no hair on the top of his head.

"Sir, please we need to get into here. Please." Nash's voice seemed far away from me, even as his side was pressed against mine. "We need to see who it is." The man's eyes were dark but they seemed to lighten up as he stepped to the side a little. I imagined this wasn't the type of call he enjoyed being called to.

"I'm so sorry." The man stepped farther away as he folded his hands behind his back. I ran past him, until my shoe hit something hard lying in the road. I stopped and looked down at it, my shaky hands picking it up. It was a phone, the same kind I had. The screen was shattered in one corner, with scuffs lining the bare back of it. I pressed it on and stood there staring at it. My eyes had to be messing with me. This had to be a mistake. Or a dream. Something. But it couldn't be a coincidence. The bright screen showed a picture of Shawn and I from a couple of days ago. It was Shawn's phone. Dropped right in the middle of the road. And he wasn't with it. My eyes welled up with tears, and I wiped my bare sleeve against my face.

I put the phone in my back pocket as I ran to a group of medics huddled on the ground. He had to be okay. Maybe he just dropped his phone and ran and a crash happened behind him or something. There were nearly a thousand different explanations. I looked to my left and saw the stretcher being loaded into the back of a long truck. Somebody was dead, and they were lying in that truck. My breath caught in my throat and I kept running to the mess of people and equipment lying on the road. I got closer and saw a leg poking out. It was long, dressed in dark blue jeans. It was limp, lying out straight.

I finally got close enough to see who it was, but a medic ran to me, holding me back. Her short blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail with crisp bangs lining her forehead. She was young, but strong enough to keep me back. She was saying something to me but the words couldn't form in my mind. My eyes met her green emeralds before they drifted away. Her grip on my elbows kept me away from the group as she pushed me back farther. Her eyes were sad, her faint smile reflecting my emotions. I couldn't see any more, but I didn't need to. I saw his brown hair swept across his forehead, his thick lips pulled open as one of the medics breathed into him. They had things hooked into his arms and his neck was set in place by a collar, his body motionless. They had the ambulance nearby, a stretcher set flat on the ground next to his body.

I shrunk back from the medical assistant and she loosened the grip on me. I heard someone yell at her and she turned around just long enough for me to step around her and run to him. I had to be near him, I was tired of watching. I needed to be with him. I stood in front of Shawn, lying blankly on the road. My feet fell from underneath me and I shrunk to my knees. I leaned over his face, and soon my tears were falling off of my chin onto his own. My face was covered in them and my throat was full of questions I didn't dare ask anyone. My hand flew to his cheek, and I carefully drew it across his face. I could see the medics watching me, but none of them moved. I wouldn't leave anyway. I was too scared. Ambulance lights streamed around us, and I heard more sirens close by. I wanted them to be louder, something to be louder to wake me from this trance.

I was shaking with my tears and sadness. I couldn't believe this was happening. I never thought this could happen to him. Not my Shawn. I needed him and I needed him to be safe. I felt as though I shouldn't have talked him into coming here. He would be safe if he was back home right now. I could have prevented this. I really could have. And now I was here, crying a mess over him, willing for him to be okay.

It took me a couple of seconds to notice the dark blotches lining the ground near him. My eyes flew to his lower body and I saw his leg twisted in a terrible position. His lower chest seemed to lay uneven, as if there was a lump in it or something. His white t-shirt was covered in a dark liquid, I knew it had to be blood. I turned away and looked at my hands on his face. He was all scratched up, his nose bent crookedly. His eyes were closed but he didn't seem to be peaceful. He was stiff and his breathing was far too slow. I hated seeing him like this, but I had to take in all of the injuries. I needed to make sure this was real.

I wanted to help him, to wake him up and tell him he was okay. But all I could do was sit there with my hands on his face, rubbing his swollen cheek. I was helpless, and he was in this situation for me. All I wanted to do was tell him I loved him, but by the look of the medics' faces, I might not get that chance. His chest thumped quickly and instantly he was surrounded by medics yelling words I couldn't understand. They were hurrying, and lifted him onto the stretcher before I could stop them. Something was wrong, and they raced off before I could move an inch. I couldn't comprehend what was happening, where I was, and I didn't want to comprehend that maybe Shawn was hurt more seriously than I thought.

My eyes turned to the ground and I saw my knees buckle before I fell, my left cheek flat on the ground, tears filling a quick pool. I felt paralyzed, all I saw was Nash running to me before I slipped from the horrible version of reality. I needed to see a dream of him or him or something. I had to talk to him but I couldn't. Not when I didn't even know what was all wrong with him. And I suddenly realized, I love him more than I ever though I could again.

And to tell Shawn that I love him is the only thing I want in the world right now.