An hour later, I was sitting on the edge of Matthew’s bed while he changed into his red swim bottoms. I had changed, I was currently in my new swim top and bottom, with my grey tank and denim shorts on top. I had done my hair slowly and carefully, so it was smooth and straight. I had tried to put makeup on, but Matthew saw me, took all off it out of my hands, and hid it somewhere in the apartment. Typical Matthew.
I heard a door close behind me and saw him walk out wearing nothing but his shorts. I forgot how great he looked shirtless, well after I saw him this morning of course. I turned my head away, not wanting to look. I didn’t want to fall for him again, or anyone. That was the last thing I needed in my life right now.
“Ready to go? We just have to stop for the Jacks next door and we can go.” I nodded and stood up, and opened the door to the long, dreary hallway. I hated hotels in the city. Matthew came out of the door, and stepped in front of me, knocking on the door right next to his. Unusually fast, Jack Johnson opened the door and smiled at him, as if he had been waiting. Then his eyes moved to me.
“Who’s that?” I heard him whisper, and my eyes darted away. He didn’t recognize me? It must of been my face. I felt the sudden urge to burst out in tears, and I cringed. This was not the start to the day I wanted.
“Um, it’s Mykenna. Remember? From our last MAGCON?” The look on Jack’s face did not alter. “Shawn’s Mykenna.” Matthew whispered, trying to hide it from me I could tell. I swallowed and gave Jack a smile. “Oh shit! No way! Man, I’m so sorry I just haven’t seen you in forever.” Jack walked out of the doorway and wrapped me in a hug. I was taken aback, but I returned it.
“Ah, that’s why Jack said you had a surprise for me. I’m not a very fast thinker.” He laughed and scrunched his nose up playfully.
“Let’s go get some waves, shall we?” Jack J reached out his hand to grab mine, but I stepped back out of habit. I shook my head and walked down the hallway towards the elevator. I didn’t like holding hands, and I didn’t ever plan on holding hands with anyone again. Gave me too many memories. I heard the boys talking behind me, before I heard another voice join their’s and a door shut. Must mean Jack G was with them.
I felt instantly like I didn’t belong. They were a group of three, who were seen most often together. I was the crazy girl with the broken face, who was walking about 20 feet in front of them. I felt like running, running all the way back to the apartment only six or seven blocks away. I felt like crying, and forgetting this whole day was even happening. I thought things were going well, until I remembered the only reason I was even with these boys was because of Shawn. Everything I did, every second of my life, was because of him.
We just walked across the border between the street and the sand, when I heard the mental whispers. Look! Jack, Jack, Matt, and… the psycho. I was sure they were all thinking it. How could they not? I didn’t deserve these boys, I didn’t deserve to be treated so well by them, even if it was out of pity. We set out our towels and the boys lied down, complaining about feeling the hot sand was even through the blanket. I sat down, not wanting to lay.
The sand was too hot. I sat with my legs crossed, and I watched the water hit the sand. I once loved swimming, how it felt, how it made me feel alive. Now, nothing made me feel alive much these days. The water once seemed godlike to me, majestic and beautiful. Now, it seemed dead and boring. All it did was crash into the sand, only to be sucked back out again. It was a sad thing, if you thought about it. The water never made it past a certain area, sure it might travel across the world, but it never saw grass, or city buildings. Just sand and rocks, weeds and trash. None of the greatest things worth living for.
“Mykenna? Can I talk to you?” I looked to my right side and saw that Jack G was sitting next to me, almost touching. “I know you must hear this a lot, but are you okay? I don’t mean to get in your private issues, but it isn’t very private. I’ve been worried about you, honest.”
He whispered, obviously not wanting the boys to butt in. I looked past him and saw that they were gone, and splashing each other in the water. I just gave him a nod, I didn’t have anything to say to him, and I didn’t want to anyway. I didn’t know if he would tell anyone else, we weren’t even friends.
“Yeah, Matt told me that you don’t talk to people anymore. I think that’s a shame, because I always thought one of your best traits was your personality. How you said what you wanted no matter, and you didn’t care what people thought.” His eyes made mine feel like I was staring into the sun.
What did he want from me? A confession that I wasn’t okay? Me crying on his shoulder? I nodded and looked the other way, towards a group I saw forming near the sand boundary a good distance away. Strange.
“I know we were never friends, but I’m not going to let you ruin your life over a guy. Shawn is not worth this, he’s is not worth your happiness. You get that?” I bit my lip and turned to look at him. How did he have any right to tell me what was worth it or not worth it? He didn’t know me. He didn’t have the right to say anything about Shawn. He didn't know what made me happy. “
You didn’t know us.” I whispered, and narrowed my eyes at him. He didn’t know shit about our life together, he didn’t know about my life. Shawn had been worth my time, no matter if I was how I was now.
Wait, did I just defend Shawn?
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Unexpected // sm
Fanfic"i never knew i could love someone like that. it's so unexpected, ya know?" All rights reserved to shelbywrite.
