Unexpected // sm

Chapter 45

        "Hey." I stopped in my tracks, and stood there like a statue. "Can I talk to you?" Shawn's voice rang out behind me. I forgot that I hadn't seen him on the television with the other boys, so of course he was here at the hotel. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I took a deep breath, but stayed where I was. I wasn't about to let him pull me back into whatever plan he had.

        "Please." I heard footsteps, and there he was right behind me. He grabbed my arm carefully, pulling me back. I suddenly panicked, and struggled to get away from him. What was he doing? No, no. I pulled away with all of my strength, but he didn't let up, he only tightened his grip. He was strong too. I couldn't speak, so I did my best to kick and hit him as much as I could. He leaned down, and threw me over his shoulder quickly. I couldn't fight him, all I could do was kick him. He didn't slow down, he walked right into his hotel room, threw me on the bed, and locked the room door.

        "Stop! Just listen to me!" He walked over to me, trying to calm me down but grabbing my hand. No freaking way. I bit his hand, and he yelled in pain. I ran to the door, but he was right behind me, and pulled me away it, and back onto the bed. I was stuck.

        I swallowed the lump in my throat, and stared at him. I hated him so much. What did he want from me? I stuck up my middle finger, and crossed my arms. He could talk, I didn't have to listen.

        "Please. I need to talk to you." His voice was angry, but his eyes were not. He stared at me, he always looked so damn deep into my eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him, I felt like hitting him but I knew I couldn't do much damage.

        "I'm sorry about what happened at the beach. But I can't ignore it. I can't turn away anymore, I have to face it. I knew what I was doing, and I couldn't help myself. I had to touch you. I didn't mean to take advantage of you. I'm sorry." His voice still rang out in anger, with mismatching eyes. I scowled at him, bullshit. He didn't want me. He never did. He never would.

        "Oh, cmon. You know you liked it. You sure didn't pull away very fast. I've always been good with my hands, admit it, you've missed me." Shawn let the corner of his mouth turn up, before he went back to frowning at me. I gritted my teeth, and stared at him. I still couldn't talk.

        "Oh please! Are you trying to tell me you didn't feel that in the water? You didn't feel it between us? I know you did! I saw it in your eyes! You can hate me as much as you want, but you felt that too! You know it too! You can't run away from how you feel! Just admit it!" I stood up from the bed, and he got right in my face.

        "You felt it! You know we always have that energy between us! You just can't tell me that you did, because you always run from the hard things! You never face it right on, that's why you tired to kill yourself, because you tried to run from life! You can't handle it when things get rough!" He spit the facts into my face. He didn't get it though. He didn't understand. He never would. Shawn shook his head, and let out a chuckle.

        "You're fucking hopeless! You tried to kill yourself! Do you get that? Over what? The fact that we didn't work out? That's bullshit, Kenna. You are better than that!" He hovered above me, silently judging me. He had gone too far. The block came loose inside of me.

        "Now, you listen to me, you piece of shit. How dare you judge me, you don't know the shit you put me through! I loved you with every piece of my body! You betrayed me! You kicked me out! You were my everything, I've had nothing without you! You fucking broke me, and you don't get that because you're a selfish bastard! I did try to kill myself because I'm sick of living with the memory of you! I can't handle waking up everyday to a world without happiness! I gave you everything, I fucking moved to another country! All of this is your fault, you are the hopeless one! I did feel it between us but that doesn't matter shit! You don't want me and you never did! You hurt me! More than you can even comprehend! Don't you dare tell me about my life, I live it every day! I died that day that you kicked me out, I left my heart in your hands and you killed me!"