Unexpected // sm

Chapter 40

       I dropped my phone onto the bed and my vision became blurry. I bet they wanted to stay on purpose. I bet Matthew wants to be here longer to talk to me. I bet Shawn was happy to make me suffer longer. I hated him. With every ounce of my body, I hated Shawn for all that he had put me through. I felt like my chest was falling into my body, and I stood up.

         I needed to do something. I couldn’t just sit any longer, my legs were cramping up. I barely took a step, when my legs collapsed underneath me. I fell on my stomach, and my breath quickened. What the hell? I crawled to the door carefully, my eyes beginning to blur heavily. I managed to open the door an inch before my hand went numb, and my body crashed against the floor.

        I was in Shawn’s apartment in Toronto. He was on top of me, his lips lightly grazing all over my body. He was smiling, his eyes full of happiness. I giggled, and quickly took off my shirt. He looked at my upper body, at my simple bra. He bit his lip, and ran his hands up my body. I let my hands ruffle his hair, and he nibbled at my neck. I smiled, and my body seemed to melt into his large bed. 

        I jolted awake, and my left arm felt very heavy. I opened my eyes, and looked over to see a small tube that snaked into my left hand. I began to panic, and I moved my left arm. Well, I thought I had. I looked back at it, and noticed that it had not moved at all. I wiggled my fingers, nothing happened. I panicked even more. What was wrong with me? I felt tears on my face, what was happening? I looked around frantically, but there was no one in the hospital room.

        Wait, why was I in the hospital? I had just been with Shawn, in Canada, why was I here? Then I felt it all come back. I wasn’t with Shawn. It was a dream. I was in California. I shook my head aggressively, I was beyond confused. The door clicked open, and a older man with short, white hair walked in. “Miss Elburn, do not fret. You’re alright now. Your body is just a little sore. You’re at a safe hospital. Thank goodness your friend called you in, because you would most likely be dead.” What? What?? “Allow me to explain. It seems that you almost overdosed, as we found four times the recommended amount of antidepressants in your blood. This was not a good combination, as you were also dangerously dehydrated. However, we have gotten your levels stable, and you will be just fine.” He smiled at me, and patted the corner of my bed, before walking out. 

        My breathing slowed, and I realized that my arm was tingling, as if it was asleep. In a short few minutes, I was able to move it. Maybe it was from whatever they were pumping into it. I sighed slowly, and shook my head in sadness. It hadn’t worked.

        I was still here, I was still alive. I cried harder, I wanted to just be gone. But I couldn’t leave no matter how I tried. I wasn’t fair, the world wasn’t allowing me to live my own life. Every time, it brought me back. I hated myself, and I just wanted to get out. It was bullshit that I had to live this life. It was all bullshit. I hated it all, I hated myself, I hated myself, I hated myself. 

        Minutes later, Cam rushed through the door with wide eyes. He grabbed a nearby chair, and brought it right next to my bed. “They just took you, they didn’t tell me where you were or anything I didn’t know what to do I’m sorry I had to call them, you were laying there I just didn’t, I didn’t..” He finished, obviously out of breath. I tilted my head to the side, asking for a full explanation.

        “I walked into the apartment after going out to eat, and I saw your door was open, and I hadn’t seen you for a week, because I wanted you to work out whatever issues you needed to. So, I went to your room, and found you lying on the floor, not far from the door. I tried to shake you awake, and you wouldn’t wake up. I called 911, I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t breathing. They told me you were gone.” Cam was gasping for air, his face wet with tears.

        “I couldn’t lose you. I insisted that they brought you here. They said it was hopeless, but they shocked you for 5 minutes straight. You finally took a breath. I thought you were dead, Mykenna. I thought I had failed you, I had left, and you were all alone. I wasn’t there.” His tears multiplied, and he rested his head in his hands. I didn’t realize that he would even care, as he didn’t seem very interested in me since we got back from the airport. He left me, he was going to Chicago. He didn’t care what happened, it only hurt him because he was here.

         “I’m sorry, that you felt you had to do it. I’m sorry that your life is the way it is, I wish you would have said something. I don’t want to lose you, please don’t ever do that to me. I’m sorry I let you down.” His eyes were glassy, and his face was soaked in tears. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at me sadly. His eyes hurt me, it hurt me to see him so upset. I had always known him as tough, rough Cam. Not this side of him, and honestly, it scared the hell out of me.