Unexpected // sm

Chapter 67

It was another day later. Days were passing as slow as I thought humanly possible. I didn't wake up looking into Shawn's eyes. I couldn't call him in the afternoon to ask how recording went. I couldn't have a late movie night with him, to only end up staying up for hours talking. All I could so was sit here and study his stubborn, resistant face. His hand weren't quite as cold this morning, something felt off in the air.

The accident happened a week ago Monday, and it was Thursday now. He has until Saturday to wake up, or his parents will have the doctor take him off life support. They were going to wait longer, but decided it would be Saturday. I wish Shawn knew that his time was running out. I wish I could let him know that he needed to wake up. It had to be soon.

I sat down on the edge of his bed carefully, and set my hand on his face around his oxygen mask. His skin was still so pale, and I resisted the urge to shake him awake. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Wake up Shawn. Soon. Fight."

My voice shook with worry, and I backed away from him. His mouth was set loosely, his mouth open a bit. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew he needed the oxygen mask on him greatly. Instead I let my hand slip down his chest lightly before I walked to the edge of his room. The window was small, a perfect rectangle. It was dirty, but beyond it I saw the twinkling of stars far away form this dreaded place. I wished to be anywhere but here. I wanted to be where Shawn was. I wanted to see what it was like when your body is there but somehow you aren't.

It amazed me, actually. The science of how he was, but wasn't here. I wonder if he would hear me. I wish this was like a movie where he knew what was happening around him. I wish he knew how badly I needed him here. My forehead shrunk against the cool glass, trying to add some feeling to the constant numbness.

It felt like when you have a paper due at school. You know you should get it done, but you don't. And soon it might be too late. That's how I felt, only a hundred times worse. My stomach was in constant knots, I was barely able to eat. I was barely able to think, actually. It's unbelievably hard to sit here and watch someone you love die with every second. I wanted to believe he would just wake up out of nowhere. But I was too old for fairytales.