Don't Run From The Dark Side--Kylo Ren x Reader

CHAPTER 22

I sat on the floor, leaning my back against the wall and facing Kylo who sat on the end of his bed.

"Who are you trying to get out of your head?"

I glared up at his stupid helmet. I was now thankful for that ugly piece of metal because it helped me be able to focus on hating Kylo Ren.

"No one?"

"It was the same person as last night, wasn't it?"

I looked away from him, how did he know? I heard him take the helmet off and set it next to himself.

"(y/n). Who's bothering you?"

I felt tears come to my eyes.

"No one."

I looked up into his eyes... his damn puppy dog eyes. Why was the connection so strong? When he was wearing the mask, I didn't really feel the same pull, the same connection. But, there was something about the vulnerability of his face. The fact that when his helmet was off, I had to accept the fact that he was a human just like me drove me crazy. He squatted down in front of me.

"It's alright, you can tell me. I'll make him pay. I don't want you to cry like this anymore."

"Kylo, you can't fix this."

"Sure I can! I'll find him and kick him off-"

"Kylo, it's you."

He stopped and his lips met each other in a small pout.

"Me?"

He whispered.

"Ever since you took off that damned mask all I can think of his your stupid face!!!"

I pushed past him and ran into the hallway. He caught my arm.

"Wait."

I turned back and all I saw was a beige and black blur through my tears.

"What can I do?"

"Leave me alone!"

"I can't do that, you know I can't."

I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Why are you so obsessed with me?"

He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I feel... I feel this connection to you. I can't quite explain it. When I look into your eyes I see... I see..."

"Ren? What are you doing up so late?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to see General Hux.

"This is my room, Hux. What are you doing in this corridor?"

"I couldn't help but hear a bit of yelling, I was making sure that no one was getting hurt."

"The only person here who is going to get hurt is you if you don't go away."

Kylo growled, his gaze on Hux was deadly. Kylo grabbed my hand and pulled me into his room, closing the door.

"He's so pesky..."

He turned t look at me, only to find I was much closer to him than he thought. Kylo took a step backwards.

"What were you saying? What do you see when you look into my eyes?"

"Why do you want to know?"

I gazed at his face, it was the first time I had been so close to him without his mask on.

"I want to know if you see the same thing I see."

His dark eyes met mine and he gazed intently into them. My heart was racing, waiting for him answer.

"I see... pain."

"Pain?"

"You're lonely. You're fighting something internally, searching for answers too."

"I- I-"

I stuttered, trying to compute the words.

"I see something warm when I look into your eyes. When I took off my helmet you looked at me in a way that no one ever has, a way that I can't describe. Even now, you're looking at me like that."

I had dropped all defenses now, I just wanted to hear him talk. His voice was like a drug I needed desperately.

"You're scared but you try to hide it with rudeness, with aggression. You're painfully submissive and you're having a hard time hating me, is that right?"

He took a step towards me.

"I see it now."

He took another step forward and I felt the wall pressing against my back.

"You're scared of me... in so many different ways. Enchanted and curious, you want to explore me. Yet, you want to run away and hide."

He took a deep breath.

"I would say you have even more conflict inside of you than I do."

I stood there, frozen. How could he know me so well? He leaned closer to me, dangerously close.

"Tell me, what do you see in my eyes?"

"You're scared too, Kylo."

My words seemed to surprise him.

"You act like you are all-powerful and nothing can stand in your way, but you've got a soft heart. You care too much about people who you shouldn't care about. Even a girl that you only captured because you were curious about her abilities, you're afraid Snoke is going to make you kill me."

His eyes widened and he took a step back. I leaned back against the wall.

"You're desperate for me to listen to you because you can't bear to destroy me."

Kylo brought his lightsaber to his hand and ignited it in a split second. I jumped in surprise, pressing myself harder into the wall.

"I will not hesitate to destroy you."

He scowled but I could see the fear in his eyes, they were glossy with tears. I exhaled and closed my eyes.

"Kylo."

He brought his saber closer to me.

"Kylo, your feelings aren't weakness. They're strength if you use them correctly."

I heard his retract the blade and drop the saber to the ground. I opened my eyes and saw Kylo with his head in his hands. He looked up at me, angry, but crying.

"What are you doing to me? Why are you doing this to me?"

"What am I doing to YOU? Kylo, you're the one who took me! You're the one who came to check if I was ok! You're the one who planted these damn feelings inside of me and now you're blaming me?"

"Get out."

He said quietly.

"Kylo, you-"

"GET OUT!"

He yelled, pointing towards the door. I stormed out, tears running down my cheeks. Down the hall, I saw Hux with a smug look on his face. I didn't hesitate to start force choking him.

"GET AWAY YOU RAT!"