heartache

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ALYSSA_

Lucas had left last night. The smile on his face as big as ever as I felt his pride rise to his chest. I was left in a predicament I had never ever imagined myself to be, honestly I dont even find it in me to still think that I was the innocent one in this. Of course I wasn't. Cameron has every right in the world to hate me right now.

Taking another tissue out of my box I blew my nose, the flu making it's way faster into my body than ever before, the pain in my heart making itself visible too. My headache was getting worse each minute, my eyebags were heavy, my nose runny and my face was as red as a tomato. I still had to finish my last few exams, Economics being the one I had to write today. My class wasn't until until 2, and I wish with all my heart that the time would go slow because I didnt want to face anyone. Especially not lately. Getting up my sorry ass, I walked to the bathroom and tried my best to put a smile on my face, or at least fake it so that I didnt have to answer multiple questions. I dressed up in a denim dress that reached just above my knees with my white converse sneakers and my white bag that I threw over my shoulder. Grabbing my phone and slowly but surely, I had managed to make it down the stairs without falling over.

I switched on my phone and again, tried calling Cameron, thinking that maybe he would answer this time, but to no avail. As usual.

"Give up," I heard Dylan say from behind me as he walked to the kitchen, grabbing an apple and taking a seat opposite me on the counter stool.

"I cant," I responded, sounding defeat, "I wont."

I texted him this time, trying a different tactic.

Please answer me, lend me your ears so that I could explain to you what happened. Please, Cam. I miss you.

That being said I put my phone down, and turned on vibrate so that I could know what his reaction would be.

"You're acting desperate."

"I dont care," I said, "I love him and I refuse to lose him. Acting innocent and having my heart full of pride will get me nowhere except maybe lonely for the rest of my life."

When my phone had been silent I picked it up to check.

Please answer me, lend me your ears so that I could explain to you what happened. Please, Cam. I miss you ~ read.

He read it. Okay it was progress, even if he doesnt respond to it. My phone started vibrating and that's when I noticed who the caller ID was. Immediately, without a doubt, I answered.

"H-hey," I started off, he didn't respond at all, but I could hear his tense breathing, "Cameron I'm so sorry."

Still no response.

"Lucas came over, tried sweet talking me into taking him back," he remained quiet, "I obviously declined, but it got out of hand when he decided to grab me into his arms and just hold me."

His breathing became uneven.

"I tried fighting him off I promise," I paused, letting a single tear fall down my face. I know that I wasn't the one who should be hurting right now, but I was, "He was too strong for me so I gave up, I allowed my body to get attached to his and I know I was wrong for doing that, but please try to understand."

"I admitted defeat," I sighed, "But it didnt mean anything I swear."

He inhaled a sharp breath of air, "I came back for you," he finally spoke, his voice broken and cracked, the heartache visible in his tone, "I came back for you and you're hugging your-"

He stopped, blowing out air, "Your ex?"

"Yes I'm sorry I never told you about him Cameron, but please dont push me away for this, you have every right to but I love you," I said all in one breath.

"You love him too," he said. His voice cold and dangerous, his emotions disappearing from him one by one. I had never ever once seen or heard Cameron as cold as he was now and it was starting to scare me.

"Cameron you're blowing this out of proportion-"

"Did you ever love me? Did you ever even trust me? I got my answer already. You wouldn't tell me anything, you wouldn't open up to me even when I had to chase your ass like a dog yet I never seemed to have ever given up. Not on you, because I thought you were different-"

"Cameron it was just a hug-"

"The look you had in your eyes wasn't just a hug. Clearly the two of you come a long way and he opened up some old wounds," he said sternly, "Well then, now you'll have someone to help you put a bandage on them."

I opened my mouth to speak but he cut the line.

I was at a loss for words, my heart beating erratically and my nose got even more clogged up before.

"I guess you deserved that," Dylan said again. Wait, how long was he here? Did he just..

"You eavesdropper!"

"Cant help it," he shrugged and threw his backpack on, "Catch ya' later, alihater."

"Its alligator."

"I know," and with that he was off, getting on his bike and speeding off for school. I sighed and threw mine on as well, preparing myself for the exam I was about to write.

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