All Because Of Him

one.

    It is officially the week I've been dreading- the first week of summer. Any normal high school student always anticipates the day they graduate. It is the time to move on from stupid class hierarchies and venture off on your own. 

    But for me, it's the complete opposite.

     I always knew that after the summer of senior year I would have to watch all of my friends leave for college. You see, after what happened I realized that I am stuck. There's no college in my future, not anymore.

     I have learned to live with it, it was out of my hands.

    And besides, it isn't my fault. I keep telling myself that she's who to blame. But nevertheless, it isn't exactly easy. 

     I continue to sit on my bed as one of my best friends Jessica snoops through my dresser to try and find something to wear to the first party of the summer tonight. Normally I would love to go to a party but for some reason I'm just not in the mood.

      I'd much rather be snuggled up in a blanket or two and rewatch episodes of shows I've seen a million times. I admit, the thought of spending my Saturday night alone stuffing my face with mint chocolate chip ice cream doesn't sound like the ideal way to start off the summer, but for me it's just what I need.

    But I doubt my friends would even let me reconsider the plans we've already made.

    Even looking at Jessica now, rummaging around through my drawers goes to show how excited she is, and I roll my eyes internally knowing it won't be easy to get out of this.

    "So what time does this party start?" I ask as she picks up one of the tops out of my dresser drawer and pulls it up to her chest.

Even though I don't feel like going, I also don't want to seem like too much of a buzzkill.

     "Ten o'clock, but we'll probably never get there considering how slow you're going." I laugh as she looks at me and rolls her eyes. She knows me too well.

    She looks over herself one more time in the mirror before setting my top back in the drawer and looking for something else.

     "You should be excited, Elle. Who knows, you might actually have fun." She continues and I nod my head as I wipe my sweaty hands against my leggings.

     The thought of me going to a party isn't a complete abstract idea, throughout our years in high school my friends and I have gone to plenty. I'm not the type of teenager who didn't enjoy them, or would rather be at home, because both of those couldn't be further from the truth.

     "I do want to go- really." I lie.

     "Uhuh," she says back as if she's calling bullshit, and throws a top at me for me to try.  It hits my chest and I let it fall onto my lap, not even trying to catch it.

   "It doesn't matter anyways, because as my best friend it is your job to accompany me to this party. Don't you think we should celebrate not having to go back to that lame excuse for a school anymore? We deserve this." She edges on and walks over to me.

     "You and I are both getting drunk tonight, and we're going dance our asses off until we were weak in the knees, and we're going to have fun." 

     I look down at the shirt in my hands and sigh, it doesn't seem like I'm getting out of this one.

    Her face softens and she gently nudges my shoulder, bringing my attention back to her.

    "Come on, you and I both know the real reason why you don't want to go tonight. Which is exactly why we need to do this, you'll have fun Elle, I promise."