All Because Of Him

seventeen.

I don't remember much about my family's old traditions, but one thing I do remember was the ice cream. It all started one night when my mother and I got into an argument about something supid- I can't remember. All I remember was her showing up to my door the next morning with a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, and then all was forgiven. We would use the ice cream as an ice-breaker and some sort of an apology gift. And before I knew it, my dad would use it, and then me, Amy, my friends, etc. It became our way of saying sorry, when words just didn't seem good enough, which is why at 10 a.m. the next morning, I found myself at the nearest grocery store.

"Thank you, have a good day." I said to the cashier as she placed the receipt for the ice cream in my hand.

All night I was thinking about what Jessica said, and she was right about all of it. I'm the one who started this, I have no one to blame but myself. Also the reminder of the cruel things I said to her was killing me, I can't believe I said those terrible things.

Once I parked in the driveway of Jessica's house, I grabbed the Cherry Garcia ice cream and made my way into the house. Thankfully, I didn't see Mason anywhere in sight. I want nothing to do with him. I gave him a chance, and he blew it and lost my trust and respect. I understand that lying to Aiden was my fault, but the words I heard Mason hear still sting every time I think about them. How can anyone be so hateful and cruel.

But, I can't let all those negative thoughts affect me, I'm here for Jess. Our friendship is top priority.

I knock on her bedroom door and a few moments later Jessica opens it. I extend my arm out and show her the ice cream.

"I'm sorry." I say, placing the ice cream in her hands. She looks at me, and then the ice cream, and back at me again. I'm not quite sure what she's going to say, but I hope it's good. I watch as she turns around, walks over to her nightstand and retrieves a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream-my favorite.

"No, I'm sorry." She says, holding out the ice cream. I take it and relief washes over me.

"I'm sorry about all the things I said-" I begin, walking into Jessica's room and closing the door.

"It's okay," Jessica says.

"No, it's not. You were right about everything, This is all my fault and I'm sorry dragged you in the middle of it-"

"Elle, I wrote the card." Jessica interrupts, and now I'm silent. I'm completely taken back by her words.

"What?" Is all I manage to say. I sit on the edge of her bed and my mind starts wondering, thinking of all the reasons why she would do this.

"I'm so sorry. I was drunk and stupid. The card was meant for Shawn. I wanted to know if he's been with anyone else since we've broken up."

"What do you mean? You-"

"I know I've slept with others, but... seeing him at that party... it was hard. It brought back everything. I never meant to hurt you or Aiden, I wasn't even thinking."

"No, you werent." I snap. I sigh, and close my eyes to try and focus on not blowing up again and making things worse.

"Are you mad?" She asks, I open my eyes and look at her. I can see how sorry she is, and I know everything she's saying is true.

"No," I answered. Even though now I know Jess was the one who wrote it, it doesn't change anything. This all started with me. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I was going to, but then I saw how angry you were with Mason, and-"

"Oh, shit." I curse, placing my elbows on my knees and covering my face with my hands.

Mason.

He really didn't have anything to do with this, he was telling the truth. And I didn't believe him.

"Don't worry, I'll tell Mason it was all me."

"No, no, don't. It should be me." I say. Adding Mason to the list of people I have to apologize today was not what I was expecting.

"Knock, knock." I hear at the door, and Natalie comes in.

"Hey," Jess and I greet at the same time.

"How was Aiden's?" Natalie asks, and Jessica and I look at each other not sure what to say.

"Is that ice cream I see? Somebody have a rough night?" She continues, as she takes her jacket off and places it on Jessica's chair.

"You have no idea." I say. "But anyways, how was your date last night? Everything went as planned?"

"No, " Natalie says, "It was better than what I planned." The smile is evident on her face and I feel happy for her. I'm glad at least one of us had a good night.

"Anyways, I have a question to ask the both of you." Natalie says, seeming a bit nervous.

"What's up?" Jessica asks.

"I think we should all go to the Masquerade party tomorrow." Jess and I both laugh at her joke, but it seems as though Natalie might be serious.

"What? But we usually have a girls night." I say.

"I know, but this is our last year to go all together before I leave for college." Hearing her say she's leaving for college sends my stomach in a knot. I'm sure all summer I'll be reminded about what my mother did, and I'll have to what I've been doing since senior year- smile and nod.

"Fine by me." Jessica says, not seeming bothered by Natalie trying to persuade us.

"C'mon guys, I said I would go with Tristian and I'd really love it if my girls were there."

To be honest, I'm surprised Natalie hasn't gone before. Ever since freshman year Natalie has helped set the Masquerade party up. It was one of her many extracurricular activities she was just dying to put on her college applications. But each year when it came to actually going, she would always come up with some lame excuse as to why she can't. Which is how the girls nights started. 

I would love more than anything to finish our tradition, but I doubt Jessica and I will be getting out of this one.

Jessica and I both look at each other, even though we know what's going to end up happening. Natalie is a hard girl to say no to.

"I'm on the planning committee so I promise there will be lots of booze." She adds, and before we know it, Jess and I both agree.