All Because Of Him

seven.

The next morning I woke up feeling like a total idiot. 

It's 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm still in bed staring at the ceiling going over the events of last night. I know that it was just sex, it's no big deal. But I'm not the type of girl that does wild things like that. This is a first for me, I'm trying to play it off and make it seem like it's not all I'm thinking about but I can't.

I close my eyes and mentally curse myself out for being so weak. Come on Elle, toughen up. I know that the last thing on Mason's mind right now is me laying under him last night, so I can't stress myself out over this. Today is a new day, who cares about what happened last night. I open my eyes and feel relief over my small little pep talk. 

I sit up and stretch my arms out wide before getting out of bed. I walk downstairs and head straight towards the coffee. When I'm awake before Amy is I like to grab a cup before she can lecture me on why it's bad to start drinking coffee so young. I grab a mug from the cabinet and pour some coffee in before wrapping my fingers around the mug. The warmth puts me at ease and I already start to feel more relaxed.

I should make time to call Aiden today, I know that we need to talk about us and thinking about it sends my mind racing. I take a sip of the coffee and try to block out all stressful thoughts from my mind. It's too early for this... well somewhat early. 

After I finish my coffee I begin to straighten up the kitchen. I clean the countertops, put the clean dishes in the cabinets and sweep the floor. I walk over to the dining room table and grab the mail that Amy must have left yesterday. I know none of them belongs to me, but I decide to look through the envelopes to double check. One slips through my fingers and falls to the floor.

"Shit," I look down at the piece of paper and my heart sinks. I already know what it is, and I take a deep breath before bending down to pick it up. Amy walks in from behind me and towards the coffee just like I did thirty minutes ago.

"Ah, you're up! Good Morning." She chirps. I twist my fingers around the edge of the paper and look over it one more time.

"Sorry I wasn't here when you left for the party," she says as she begins to pour herself a glass, "was it fun?" She looks up at me and sees the paper in my hands, as I set it on the counter in front of me. I look over at her and see her worried eyes.

"Yeah, it was." I say, as I walk over to the trash and throw it away.

"I'm so sorry, Elle. I forgot to look through the mail yesterday I was in such a hurry, I would have thrown it away-"

"No, no, don't." I say, "I'm happy she sends these." I lie, and I have a feeling Amy can tell I'm bullshitting her. "I like to see where she is." I finished. 

Even if it's not with me.

Amy nods slowly and I turn around and sit on the bar stools right next to the countertops and sigh.

"So, Greece, huh?" I question. "Sounds like fun." I should have added that to my stack of postcards she's sent me over the years, but my small little shoebox is already filled. Two and a half years of postcards, one almost every month (if I'm lucky). I wonder how many Amy has actually thrown away. I know I should be mad at the thought of her tossing them in the trash but I'm sort of thankful.

"I suppose," Amy says as she leans against the countertop and sips her coffee. A few moments pass by silently, and my mind wanders of all the things she could have been doing over the past two years, you know, besides being a parent to me. I know that I should feel grateful that she sends me anything at all but I'm really starting to hate the postcards. My thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and I look at Amy in confusion.