All Because Of Him

fifty four.

It takes me a couple minutes longer to undress than it should, and when I pull Mason's shirt over my head the safe feeling I felt with his arms around me resurfaces in my gut. I haven't worn it since we were at the swimming hole. I think a part of me has been afraid to wear it in case he sees me, or Jessica does. I know he gave it to me to wear, but it seems so intimate.

Now I know what Mason meant when he told me sleeping with someone is too intimate for him. Initially, the response from him confused me, but now I understand that there's some things we just aren't ready for yet. And to be honest, I don't know if we ever will be.

This whole night with him has been a rollercoaster to say the least. I remember when Felix called me Mason's girl right in front of him, and he never even denied it. Maybe he was too wrapped up in what Felix said afterwards, but either way there are too many mixed signals for me to handle.

Mason takes a little longer to come back into my room so I take the time to quickly brush my teeth before he returns.

When I walk out of the bathroom I go over to the full body mirror hung up on the wall of my room and inspect myself wearing his shirt through the reflection in front of me. It still hangs just above my knees and makes my body seem even smaller than it really is in it.

My eyes flick over to the tear at the bottom. I remember him using some of the fabric to tie across my cut, his hand brushed against mine and my skin tingled from his touch.

That day wasn't even that long ago, and yet it feels like a distant memory.

I snap out of my rambling thoughts when I hear my bedroom door creak open. I tear my eyes from the mirror and see Mason step into my room and look at me.

His body freezes at the sight of me, and I watch as his wide eyes roam up and down my body. He nearly drops the glass of water in his hand and my body shifts with how deep he's staring into me.

"Where are your pants?" He asks me, his voice hoarse.

I look down at myself and realize how I must look to him. I'm in nothing but his shirt and a pair of panties.

"Oh, I uh, I'm too hot to wear sweatpants so I put them back in my dresser."

Another thing to blame the alcohol for. I'm starting to think like it's beginning to wear off, but my body temperature still feels as though it skyrocketed, and Mason's eyes on me isn't helping the situation.

He quickly pulls himself together and cautiously walks towards me. The tension in the air is still thick, and I get this distant feeling from him that I can't shake. It feels like neither of us know how to act towards one another.

Twenty minutes ago we were screaming at each other and now I feel lost on what to say to him.

"Here, drink this." He hands me the glass of water in his hand and I quickly thank him before walking back over to the bed and taking a seat.

Between the alcohol and the incessant yelling that took place my throat is dry to the core. I practically gulp down the water in front of him and I see Mason's eyes soften as he watches me.

"Have you seen my phone? I need to text Jessica and tell her I left." I say as I place the cup on my nightstand. She's probably worried sick, I wouldn't be surprised if my phone has blown up with millions of calls and texts by now.

"I already did."

I bring my head up to face him and my mind goes to all of the things he could have told her. With the amount of alcohol she's probably ingested by now I doubt she'll be able to connect the dots, I just hope Felix didn't say anything to her.