All Because Of Him

ninety two.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here... would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

❀

I've been dreading this entire morning.

I think it's finally hit me that I've spent an entire week here at Jessica's house. Although I've been loving it, for some unknown reason it worries me a bit that Amy hasn't contacted me in the last couple days. We've sent messages here and there to each other, and during my first few days here I'd call and check in, but lately it's been radio silent.

I should probably go home and make sure no one has murdered anyone yet.

I haven't been in my bed in a week. I've been in Mason's bed. For five days- five whole days.

This casual sex thing isn't looking too casual.

In fact, it feels like more than that- much more. My newfound familiarity with everything between us also comes with the awareness of how fast all this is going. We've forged such a deep connection that's catching me by surprise, it's been a blur of laughter, cuddling, sex, and I don't want to get my hopes up on what this could possibly mean. In the back of my mind a voice is screaming that we wouldn't be acting this way, talking to each other this way if there wasn't the slightest possibility that this could be more.

The troubling truth to all of this is that I've been hurt by Mason before.

Not too long ago, I thought the two of us were building something, when in reality it was just a figment of my imagination. It wasn't real. None of it was. But then again, there's that other voice shrieking that this time is unlike all the other's because of the known fact that he's told me countless times that there is no one else.

It's all in my head. I know it is. But when you've been hurt by someone before, it can be hard to open yourself up to that person again. I've given him everything I have to offer, and I want him in so many unexplainable ways but I'm hooked. He's somehow managed to dig his way even deeper into my heart and there's no going back now.

Jessica leaves to go to Corey's after the two of us have breakfast and I quietly walk over to Mason's room, my heart tugging at me every step of the way, and when I see him I feel it. The warmth in my bones, the tingling in my veins, prickling of my skin. I feel the butterflies fluttering in the melted pit of my gut, and my inside throbbing at the sight before me.

Only a couple feet away Mason stands, his bare muscular back faced towards me and my gaze sweeps down his body, down the smooth, tan skin. A pair of black sweatpants cling around his tight hips, his hair is wet and glistening where the light reflects off the water saturating it. All the yelling, screaming voices in my head throwing out warning signs have quieted, and the only thing I hear is that whining voice dissatisfied over the missed opportunity of hot and steamy shower sex.

I pad over towards him as he shuffles through his dresser drawer, my heart reacting before my brain does when I circle my arms around his waist from behind, leaning my cheek against his back.

And then something happens.

There's a tremble in his skin, stillness of his body and the slight flinch as his arms squeeze tighter into his sides and his breathing stops. My arms loosen around him, an unsettling feeling hitting me when he turns his head around to face me, his body relaxing instantly.

"Don't do that." He says, and my brows knit together, my mind trying to decipher if he's talking about my sudden affections. He swallows, gritting out a faint, "I need to see you."