All Because Of Him

eighty one.

"'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too. So give them all to me and I'll give mine to you."

❀

The pillow smells like him.

It's faint and hard to describe, but it's everywhere. On the sheets, the duvet cover, the shirt he gave me to wear for bed all drowned in every scent of him that sends warmth coursing down my spine.

And it only intensifies when I trail my eyes upwards until they meet his face.

When I originally woke this morning I remembered rubbing the fatigue from my eyes and trying to determine what was the cause of waking me so early in the morning. But then it hit me, it wasn't something or someone, it was more like... a sensation.

Mason had instinctively pulled me closer to him and the feeling it gave me was intoxicating enough to rouse me.

I watch him, enraptured by the calm and peaceful expression of every feature on his face in front of me. He's lying on his stomach with one strong muscular arm wrapped around my waist and I lie beside him, each delicate rise and fall of his chest soothing me in an unfamiliar way that sends the apex of my thighs and my heart aching at the same time.

The curved muscular indents of his back end where the sheet meets his waist, the other arm of his that isn't around me is wrapped around his pillow while he remains asleep in slumber.

I have this tightening urge to wake him, wanting my face to be the first thing he sees in the morning but I know that I should let him sleep.

Yesterday was a long day.

To say the least.

And it's a lot to process.

I found out so much about Mason that I never would have guessed. It was almost like seeing him- the real him- for the first time. I'm sure he expected me to go off and run for the hills, but if anything it's only pulled the strings drawing me closer to him tighter together.

As I look at him in front of me my mind remembers all the pain this man has gone through, and the warmth that was in my body moments ago has turned into a throbbing ache.

He didn't talk much after what happened last night.

But I knew from the look on his face that it hadn't been the first night something like that had happened. I wonder how many people know about his nightmares, he said he never told a single person about his father and I know that he doesn't sleep with anyone so I can't help but think that that was the first night he let someone see.

The more I think about it, the more everything is slowly starting to make sense. I understand why he wouldn't want to sleep with anyone if his nightmares are a continuous occurrence.

When I somehow managed to draw him back out I remember him asking if he hurt me and although I know he would never do anything to harm me, I find myself questioning if that's ever happened before.

I wonder if Jess has ever heard them.

Oh, shit.

Jess.

I push the blankets protectively around myself before sneaking in one last glance to admire Mason in front of me, fighting the desire to lean in and plant a kiss on those pink plump lips of his. The last thing either of us needs is for Jessica to find my lying in bed with her cousin first thing in the morning