All Because Of Him

fifty five.

Mason and I spend the rest of the week in our own little bubble. The night he took me home from the club I imagined that we would go back to not speaking for days at a time, but astonishingly after that night everything changed between us.

At night it was almost like we had our own little routine; he would sneak into my room and we'd end up turning on Friends until one of us made the first move and I'd somehow find his head in between my legs. Then we'd go back to the show and watch it in each other's arms until I fall asleep.

But then morning would come and I'd wake up alone.

That was the worst part.

These past couple days Mason has tried to act the least bit affected by what's been going on between us, while I have been trying to wrap my head around the whole thing.

Everytime I would try and take a shower in peace he'd always somehow end up there with me. It got so bad that he actually moved his own products in there too because he kept saying that he'd always smell like me afterwards and Freddie would relentlessly tease him about it.

I've gotten a lot closer to Freddie throughout these days as well, he always eyes the two of us in a suspicious manner but Mason either doesn't notice, or pretends he doesn't.

There were two things I've learned about Mason during this time: One, he can be affectionate when he wants to.

Sure there were times when I'd be lying with him in bed and he'd rub fingers along my back in circles, or even kiss every inch of my body when he had the chance.

But it wasn't even about that.

It was about the times I'd come back to the house to find a new pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer because he 'accidentally' ate mine the night before. Or when he randomly leaves the shirt he was wearing that day on my bed for me to wear when I go to sleep; it was the little things.

And it confused the fuck out of me.

And two: Mason is a very intimate person.

Everyday it was a struggle to keep his hands off of me, even if the feeling was mutual.

He took me in almost every room in the house.

And the worst part is I let him.

The person I become when I'm near him is a whole new one entirely, and I can't get enough of it.

The person I am with Aiden versus Mason seems like two different people to me now.

With Mason I have this new raw sexual energy that I'm still trying to reel in every time I see him. Aiden on the other hand, just reminds me of what my life was like before Mason walked back into it.

I've only seen him once during these past couple days. He's tried to call me to hang out and every time he would I found myself coming up with new excuses as to why I couldn't. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but feel guilty every time I'm around him.

I know that we aren't dating, but he deserves better than me.

He deserves more than what I have to offer.

There was one incident two days ago that I came across when going into Mason's room. I was originally planning on just peeking in to see if he was home, and he wasn't. Instead when I opened the door I found white powder sprawled out on the top of his dresser.

I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach.

I knew from the night Mason first came into my room that he had taken drugs, but I never thought about what they could be. Seeing the coke right in front of me made me question everything I thought I knew about him; there were so many things I wanted to ask him about it.