First one

Seventy-One: I ruined everything

Isabella's POV

It was true, I didn't have a home. Lately my apartment felt strange, because I was more at Lukas's than there and whenever we were at his I didn't only have a boyfriend but also a sister. That's what Mia was becoming, more than a friend, she was family and now I don't have anything left. Her parents are probably so mad at me but what does it matter, Lukas will pick her side if she asks him to. When I finally felt like I belonged, like I had people who loved me unconditionally it got ruined like my perfect house of cards being blown by a single breeze, a breeze I caused by being ignorant thinking keeping secrets was best. It wasn't and I should have known, Lukas should have known. I should be mad at him, and maybe I am but if I lose him too, I'll drown because I'll just give up swimming.

His hand pushed my hair over my shoulders, his finger softly caressing my bare skin. "Yes you do. I'm your home, that's never going to change." He whispered softly, and even without looking at him I felt the sincerity in his words, but it wasn't enough to pull me out of my own negativity.

I shook away his hand from my neck, wanting to be close to him but left alone at the same time. I was lost, lost in thought and lost on my way to happiness. "I ruined everything." I sobbed, trying to get air but unsure if that was what I really needed. Did I even want air, what for? What was the point.

Whether I wanted it or not he put his arms around me and pulled me close to him, holding me so tight I couldn't shrug him off. "You didn't snowflake. I know it seems like it right now but it's not." He whispered into my hair before kissing it softly.

I shook my head at his words not believing any word against better judgement. I wanted to believe him, but I just couldn't... not after the hurtful words my mind was busy processing. "I ruined the only friendship I ever had, I ruined brunch, I ruined us." I yelled in my hands, covering my face with them.

"Don't say that. How could you have ruined us?" He said his voice completely taken over by worry, my words hurting him more than I expected, and I felt his grip around me tighten. Yes, I doubted my decisions, maybe even us, how strong was our relationship? Strong enough to survive what my friendship with Mia couldn't?

"She's still your sister, if she asks you to choose between me or her, you'll choose her, she's family. I wouldn't even blame you." I shrugged my shoulders, my hands still covering my face. At my words he let go of me and I thought that those few were all it took to push him away for good but instead of going for the hills he sat in front of me, taking my wrists softly in his hands to pull my face away from my barrier, so he couldn't finally meet my sad teary eyes.

"Hey, hey now." His soft breath fanned my lips, his hair still wet and dangling on his forehead. "That's a choice I'll never make because it's not the same. She's my sister, but you're my girlfriend those are two completely different things. Don't ever think I'll just leave you over something like this." He tried to convince me, change my way of thinking but it was going to take more than words. Even I wasn't able to convince myself as my sobs wouldn't fade. "Baby, I won't leave you, if that's what you're afraid of." He whispered, pulling up his brows with worry, his eyes asking me a thousand questions at once. "And my parents they aren't mad, they love you, trust me." And at that I released a deep sob, a gush of air I didn't know I was holding. The thought of being loved by his parents a relief but still not enough to make the sadness go away. "Come here." He whispered as his strong arms scooped me up like a feather and left our bags at the doorstep. He walked us to his car, my face buried in his neck.

"Lukas I lost my only friend." I whispered, tears salty on my lips as I watched his house from the driveway over his shoulder.

"You didn't lose her, she just needs time." He tried not to feed my desperation by saying something safe, but I didn't need safe. I needed my friend back.