First one

One hundred and three: Feeling lucky

Isabella's POV

I had to leave, disappear into another room. The way he hugged me and showed me how sorry he was, the way I felt guilty for causing his tears and felt the urge to wipe them away was just too much.

When I got home and found my pillow on the floor, I decided it was best not to crawl in bet with him, he clearly didn't want me to. It broke my heart over and over when all I could think about was how he kept pushing me away. How much more of this was I going to take? How much more could I handle and still stay true to myself.

The bathroom was a good place to escape and think about the mixed feelings I felt about that hug. I wanted to pull him closer, tell him I was okay, but that would have been a lie. I wasn't okay, and now he was part of the reason why...

When I came out of the shower, I wanted nothing more than to put some fresh clothes on and go back to the kitchen, tell him something other than I have to leave, tell him we were going to be okay but that I just needed time. I needed him, but I needed time a little more. I put on a white fluffy sweater, some mom jeans and my lilac high tops. I needed to wear them...I just needed to.

I was ready to tell him something, limping back towards the kitchen. My leg was alright, less painful than the day before but still it reminded me of what happened. Lukas... I whispered under my breath when I noticed the kitchen door was closed. He locked himself in there, he didn't want to face me.

I heard his muffled sobs on the other side of the door, and I frowned my eyebrows trying to push away the hurt from my face. "Lukas I love you." I whispered faintly, putting my hand to the door, but I don't think he heard me.

I shook my head, trying to close myself off from being stabbed in the heart again. I grabbed my coat and bag before walking out, without seeing Lukas. I should have said something when I had the chance, why didn't I say anything? I had the feeling that not saying goodbye to him was going to haunt me for the rest of the day, and it did. More than I thought.

He didn't know he hurt me, but why did he walk away when he did. He didn't even help me? He left me there. What would I have done if it wasn't for Zach? I don't even want to think about him now for a second. I should have kept my distance form him. Okay, we're thinking about it, great. Going to class was pointless because there was no way in this world that I could concentrate, thinking of reason not to forgive him, but then I kept telling myself that a life without him just wasn't an option.

I was just waiting through each class for it to be over, for being an hour closer to going back home, hoping he would be there, and we could talk. We need to talk. Not talking is the reason we are in this mess. All of a sudden, my phone started vibrating on my notes, in the middle of class. Shit it's Lukas, I can't pick up now... but he's calling me...I cannot not pick up... I have to pick up. If I don't, he's gonna think... I don't want to know what he's gonna think. That's when I decided this class was pointless anyway and I grabbed my things, leaving in the middle of class. The professor is going to hate me for the rest of the semester, but that's not important now.

By the time I was out of that auditorium my phone had stopped ringing. I have to call him back. I was anxious when I heard the phone ring, waiting for it to go over. I leaned my back against the wall because I was pretty sure my legs were going to go weak at the sound of his voice. "Hey." The phone went over, his voice obviously cracking with emotion, it soft yet terrifying at once. He sounded broken.

"Hey..." I whispered, trying not to turn into a sobbing mess in the middle of the hallway. I already felt the tears sting in my eyes again no matter how hard I tried to hold them back, because it was him. My Lukas again. "You called me..." I said, my voice barely there as I forced it not to break.