First one

One hundred and five: Every fucking day!

Lukas's POV

I hung up the phone before she could say anything that would crush my heart, or more like hearing the lack of words, of her not saying I love you back. I was too scared to wait whether or not she would say it, either way the fact she would let me pick her up after her shift gave me hope. 

I tried to study, as if that was going to take my mind of it... On the contrary if anything I couldn't think of anything else than picking her up, seeing her, talking to her, maybe hugging her again. I already felt anxious at the thought of explaining to her how I really felt. How insecure, her hanging out with Zach was making me, but I can't tell her not to be his friend, that would be selfish, and I don't want to keep her away from her happiness even if it makes me doubt myself.

I sat behind my desk, my pen scribbling circles on my notes, my thoughts going somewhere not related to the subject I was studying. Damn, I'm an idiot for not trusting her, it all came to backfire in my face. If I had trusted her and not made such a scene, she wouldn't have run outside, Drew wouldn't have gotten to her, for which I still don't know why she would talk to him in the first place. But if none of that would have happened, I wouldn't have pushed her. Fucking idiot, you're back to being angry for nothing, and at what cost, losing her? Stop losing your shit or you will lose her.  

I sighed looking at the mess I made on my paper, not even realizing I had pushed the pen through it and was scribbling on my desk. Shit! Now this too! I can't seem to do anything right! I let my head fall back as I sighed again at the sight of my desk. Damnit! Studying right now is only making things worse. It's making my thoughts go desperate!

I was staring at my phone as I sat behind the desk, my head between my hands, watching the minutes go buy, wanting it to be evening so I could pick her up. I just need to see her... She looked so happy on the picture I had set as my background. I took it that one time in the car when we were on our way to my parents, the one where she wore that cute lilac sweater and her face was all sunshine. It was her favorite color and it looked adorable on her; everything looks adorable on her.

A knock on the door ripped me away from the good memories of that day. Her smile, her voice, her happy face, everything... "Do you want something to eat?" Mia didn't even wait before sticking her head inside my room. I was so deep in thoughts I didn't even realize she came home. "What the hell happened to you?" She widened her eyes as she now fully walked into the room, squeezing her eyes at the gauze around my hand.

"Check the bathroom." I popped my head up, telling her we no longer had a mirror there. The moment her gaze met my face and she saw my red and tired eyes she frowned her brows.

"Lukas are you okay?" She seemed worried but she was not the person I wanted to be worried about me right now. I needed someone else to care. I felt my face grimace when she asked me if I was alright, the hurt in my face more that evident.

I was not about to cry in front of my sister, not now, not tomorrow, not ever. I scraped my throat and swallowed the emotions back to where they belonged, not showing on the outside. "I'm not." I tried but failed, my tongue speaking the truth while the rest of me tried so hard to hide. My voice didn't even try to stay strong as it cracked the minute I spoke.

My sister's face was all pity when she saw the mess sitting behind the desk. "What happened?" She said caringly and calm. I shook my head not wanting to say that I hurt her best friend, she was going to kill me for it when I actually needed her advice. "Lukas..." She whispered as she observed all the hurt my face was carrying. She took another step and before I could tell her what happened she threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. She knew exactly what I needed. I closed my eyes, feeling her comfort as I hugged her back. "Talk to me. I know you're hurt. I haven't seen you like this in a long time, not since-"