First one

One hundred and eight: If I lose her...

Lukas's POV

She slapped me, she really just slapped me and that was enough to wake me up. What am I doing?! I instantly let go of Jess, suddenly disgusted by the idea of almost kissing her. Why did I even call her to begin with? I looked at Bells with horror covering my face as I grabbed my cheek, she slapped me harder than I thought she was capable of. Her face was hurt and filled with anger while moments ago she was begging me and I kept pushing back. Why the fuck did I have to take it so far?

For a moment we just looked at each other and I felt my dry eyes turn soft as her gaze hung on to mine. "Who thought that after pushing me over you could fall any lower... I can't fucking believe you." She gritted through her teeth, and that just hit different... In my jealous moment of rage, I forgot I had hurt her too, that I pushed her into his arms whether I wanted to believe it or not. My face fell with regret as she grabbed the second shot glass, making a toast to Jess with loathe all over her face before throwing back the shot. Her slamming the glass onto the marble countertop caused me to shiver, the sound of her anger releasing, cut through my bones. The moment I heard Jess scoff on top of that I wanted to kick myself in the face. I felt sadness and regret wash over me and what happened next went too fast for my brain to understand.

"Hurts doesn't it! I couldn't quite fucking believe it either when I saw how little I meant to you today around seven!" I snapped back, my drunk tongue rolling the words out of my mouth before I knew it. I knew better, this was the moment I should have shut up, but the mean drunk in me unfortunately didn't. I saw her almost cough up the alcohol at my words.

She stepped closer and part of me wanted this to be a dream, I wanted her to just throw her arms around me and take me home. But that was not going to happen, I could see it in her face as it beamed with anger. "Asshole! You fucking meant the world to me and you know it." At her words I couldn't help but swallow. It cut me deeply and it was all my fault. How could I let down the girl I was ready to give it my all, my everything? I was mad because she kissed Zach but if it's true what she was saying than even almost kissing Jess was going to be the biggest mistake of my life. "But you know what Lukas! You're right to use past tense." What? Bells... Don't do this. She raised her voice as I watch her hand go to her wrist. No no no. I frowned my brows and felt my mouth part with disbelief as I watched her take of the bracelet that I gave her. "Whatever this was to you, it's over Lukas! I'm done with you!" I listened but I didn't want to hear it. This isn't... No baby...Just no! I wanted to say it out loud, but I couldn't. "And this." She pushed the bracelet into my chest, and I caught it before I fell, the touch of it in my hand instead of around her wrist killing me. No no no. Internally I was already crying but the outside of me was frozen with chock. "This is a fucking lie! All went wrong in my world when I met you!" She cried while heard the cracking sound of my heart breaking. This felt nothing like when I had seen her kiss Zach. Hearing her say it out loud with so much hatred in her voice was a thousand times worse.

She looked at me blankly before turning around, leaving me at the bar with the bracelet desperately clenched between my fingers, squeezing it as if it would bring me back to life. "Bella!" I anxiously yelled after he as she made her way to the door. This can't be really it? It can't. "Bells wait!" I yelled again as I felt Jess's hand squeezing my shoulder.

"Just let her go she's not worth it." Jess said, annoyance dripping from her voice.

"Shut the fuck up Jess!" I bit at her instantly shrugging her hand off my shoulder. I can believe I shrugged Bella's hand away in the same manner. That's terrible.

"Lukas!" She huffed, surprise and disappointment on her face. As if I cared.

I shook my head, wanting to slam my forehead in the marble countertop the moment I looked at the bracelet in my hand. "This was a fucking mistake. I don't even know why I called you... I can't even fucking stand you." I scoffed, not even looking at her.