First one

One hundred and Thirteen: Please stop arguing

Lukas's POV

I waited for Mia in the car... Bella's voicemail made it clear she didn't want to see me, even though I really wanted to. I missed her, I missed everything about her. The past days I tried to forget about her, I tried to give our moments together a place and move on, little did I know that was more mission impossible than the movies. I couldn't get her out of my head and every single thing in my room reminded me of her... Even this car was filled with lots of memories and I felt like I was driving a box of recollections.

I looked up at her window, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her holding the curtain to the side. I sighed wanting to see her face, wanting to see her smile but the moment she turned her head and our gazes met I cowardly looked away... She didn't want to see me and my heart couldn't take looking at a possibly angry expression on her face. All I did was sink into my seat as my hands clenched around the wheel. This is all just fucked up! Last week I told her to her face I would love her forever and now I'm too scared to look at her. I don't know how long I can take this suffering... One thing clearly hasn't changed... I still love her... I still want her to be in my life... I guess she doesn't feel the same.

The only way I was able to deal with it was shut it out and keep to myself. I couldn't talk to Mia about it because she was clearly not on my side over this... Especially after the whole fiasco with Jess... The biggest mistake of them all. Fuck why did I call her... Why her? Good thing about my phone being broken is that I can't hear from her either because I'm pretty sure she's spanning my inbox at the moment. It was so so fucking dumb. If I had the chance to turn back time, I would have handled things differently. I might have still gone to that bar, but I would have never called Jess. If bells would have showed up, I'm sure she would have dragged me out and mocked us in a room until I would listen to her. We could have worked things out by just talking... But we didn't and I will always regret the way we handled this.

"Are you happy now!" Mia barged into the car loudly. "Idiot." She even muttered under her breath. What the fuck!

"What?" I snapped at her offensively, my brows in a frown.

My sister instantly shook her head and threw in an eyeroll. She crossed her arm and squinted her eyes at me. What the fuck is her problem. "Are you happy that she's miserable Luke! Are you happy!" She is? Wait a minute, right so she's miserable, I get that, but Mia is getting mad at me! I'm miserable too and nobody seems to care!

"I don't want to talk about it Mia!" I snapped back frowning more.

"You really broke every promise you ever made to her... I hope you realize that." She pulled up her upper lip at me in anger before rolling her eyes again. I shook my head back at her before turning on the ignition and driving away. I know I fucking did... I was riled up, angry at my sister for never even asking how all of this was making me feel... Like all of it was my fault... But both of us made mistakes... Is it some kind of fucked up girl-code to stick up for each other I don't know but I hate Mia's attitude at the moment?

I turned on the music to cancel out Mia's sighs and neither of us said a word for three hours long. Happy Thanksgiving to me... I rolled my eyes at myself.

I was mentally preparing myself to explain to mom and dad why Bella wasn't coming. I didn't say anything as telling them over the phone would have ended badly on my side. But, the closer we were getting to home the more I regretted it. I didn't want to face them at all. They loved Bella, they could see how she was the light in my life and now they might lose all hope and that's not what I want to hear right know. I need them to be on my side... I need someone to understand me, now Bells is no longer here for to do that. She was always here for me...