A Letter To Him .

unthinkable .

so I get this feeling . a feeling that I can't really describe , but it's temporary , only appearing when you're not beside me . the physical feeling of my heart hurting , the feeling of emptiness , the feeling of loneliness . Even though I get to see you the very next day , my heart won't understand what my head already knows . what does this mean ? I've never felt this way before so i wouldn't know .
could it be love ? could it be more ?
I think I might just love you . no , I don't think , I know .
it's funny , honestly . I've been trying to avoid loving anybody . and yet after all this time of dodging and ducking , it has found me and i didn't realise that it had until I started feeling incomplete without you .
i'm don't usually talk about feelings , I rarely talk about the way I feel . it's not important , it doesn't matter .
but to you , it does . Everything about me seems to fascinate , amuse and interest you .
it's weird , that you actually want to be with me . nobody wants to be with me , not for too long anyways . i'm a bit boring , too quiet , too withdrawn .
but with you it's so different . I speak more with you than anybody else . I talk to you about my fears , my dreams , my love . And you continue to watch me with intent , with wonder .
just maybe you might love me back . I hope you do . it would suck if i had to love somebody who didn't even love me back .
But the way you listen to me , the way you look at me , surely that's love .
right now all the rules I have made for myself goes out the door , all the self-control that I usually have goes out by the window .
with you ,  I'm feeling something , that makes me want to stay .
I love you more than anything in this world .
i'd risk it all for you but could you break my fall ? because i'm certain that I've fallen for you entirely .