my heart feels so heavy . it still hasn't sunk in , i still don't believe it . it's like i know it's true but i don't want it to be true . i guess i'm in shock .
but i like it this way , right now i just want to be shocked into silence . i know what comes afterwards , i don't want to get there , not yet .
afterwards comes the steady beating of pain , the moment i realise i've been living in an illusion .
you played me but actually i've been playing myself . all those times you were being distant , all those times you were too busy to talk to me , i've should've paid attention , i should've observed your actions . but no , i just had to to give my heart to somebody that never even wanted it in the first place . you think you love me but you don't . i haven't been myself for the last two days and you haven't even noticed . even if you did , you were probably too busy to ask me if i was okay . an irritation , that's what i've been .
i wish i knew that you were only speaking to me because there was nobody else to talk to , or that you were only doing it because you were bored and you were trying to pass time .
and yet you wonder why i have such low self-esteem . no , i'm not blaming you . you're always so quick to defend yourself but how do you defend this ? how do tell me you love me when you love a few other girls too ? maybe even a bit more than me .
don't even try to deny it . just don't , it's not worth it , it won't change anything .
i'm not walking away but i'm done .
my heart's a few metres above the ground and i'm trying my best to keep it there .
because when it falls , it will shatter .
and nobody would be able to replace the stone heart that would be lodged in my chest .
not even you .
YOU ARE READING
A Letter To Him .
RandomHer words hold the truth , showing her vulnerability and fragility . Her words shows the growth within her , her strength in tragedy . She was strong enough to love him , even though he didn't love her . She was strong enough to stay by him , even w...
