Confessions of a Queen Bee

12

I'd made it through the whole day at school today- which isn't that major to anyone else but I'm not going to lie, I keep going home after lunch. I went to my first dance lesson today and everything.

The bruises are completely gone now, so I wasn't afraid that any of the girls were going to see anything. I mainly went back because Faye somehow managed to drop theatre and join dance. I didn't want to go back to dance, I have no idea why. But the pressure to be there because now Faye was attending the lessons made me just have to bite the nail and do it.

It was actually really relaxing. The exercise. 

I am now snuggled up in bed, it is about 1:15 AM and I'm munching on some Maltesers. They have been my favourite snack since I was a kid and my parents keep supplying me with them.

Which I am not going to question or complain about- it's chocolate.

I feel so small wrapped up in my double duvet, my hair is a tangled mess beneath me. I washed it earlier and left it to do its thing. Which means real hard work for me in the morning. Even though it's pretty late, sleep for me feels miles away.

My mum keeps telling me I'm not sleeping because I'm napping after school too much. But it's just something about the early hours that seem comforting.

 I don't feel anxious or stressed. I can think about what happened if I want to, and I don't need to feel afraid of my thoughts because I know I am on my own. 

There's nobody around or awake to witness me fall apart. Not that I do fall apart every night. It's just a nice and peaceful time, I can watch Netflix to my heart's desire and I can eat as many Maltesers as I want. The calories don't count after two am, surely?

My second one-hour session is with Mrs Granger tomorrow but it feels a bit odd. Especially since I sit in her office and talk to her quite a lot anyway. I really hope she doesn't find me needy.

Suddenly the thought of Layton pops into my brain. I've been really stressing over the fact that If they do find him if they do bring him back here. He will be back. And everyone will know. Because they will then tell his parents, and then Luca will find out and then so will the boys. And then what am I supposed to do?

Without warning my phone starts ringing and it startles me. Who on earth would be phoning me in the middle of the night?

I look at the caller Id and it says unknown. Which immediately puts my guards up. What if it's him?

Ending the call, mainly out of fright and a little because the ringing was so unnecessarily loud, I wait to see if they recall.

Holding the phone in my shaky palm, I watch as words from an unknown number pop up on my screen.

Unknown: Are you awake?

I debate waking my parents up, I feel terrified at the thought that it may be Layton messaging me. I literally have everyone's number. Apart from... oh I swear to god if this is Jackson I am going to kill him.

Ivy: Who is this?

Unknown: Jackson

Ivy: You scared me

Jackson: Can we call?

Ivy: No wth, it's the middle of the night.

Jackson: I bet you weren't asleep, I'm going to call you

Before I could get a chance to protest, his number appears on my screen again. Huffing in annoyance, knowing he won't stop calling if I don't pick up, I answer the call against my better judgment.