Confessions of a Queen Bee

Chapter 50: Letters to Lucy

May

Dear Lucy,

I was so happy to get your letter in the mail! I didn't know you were so serious about us writing letters but you are right it is so fun! I'm so sorry to hear about the fact he got off, but thank god the school expelled him. At least you don't have to worry about him there anymore! How are you doing? Has it been really bad lately? I know I would be a mess if Layton got free.

The house I huge! You know this by the pictures I sent you but honestly, it feels so much bigger in person. My mum and I just find ourselves wondering around it during the day. Laughing when we bump into each other doing that same thing.

I can't believe it's already been two months since I saw you! These two months have been mental and I've met so many people here. I didn't think I would, well because of home schooling but the town is tiny and people just know everyone here. My dad has been doing so well at his new job, thank you for asking. You are the sweetest. What I didn't know however was that my dad's school is both primary and secondary. So, kids literally from the age of 4-18 attend there. There're obviously separate buildings but my dad is supposed to be running both! He is doing great.

I'm so happy I introduced you to my friends. And I'm so glad that you are still hanging out with them. How is everyone? How is he?

Love ya,

Love Ivy.

June

Dear Lucy!

Two more months to go until I'm back for a week. I'm shitting it honestly. The trial is coming up and it just shocks me every time I think about the fact that he is pleading not guilty, like apparently his lawyers have advised him to just go for a plea bargain. To say he did it and then he would get a lighter sentence. But Layton is adamant. I asked my mum about whether she thinks they should be viewing his case from a mental health standpoint and she told me that I shouldn't be thinking about things to help him. But I am a little bit. I hate what he did to me, but I honestly think he is sick. He can't be that deluded and then be ruled sane by a judge surely?

What do you think? Am I just going more and more insane? I've had a bad month. I started with a new psychiatrist as I wasn't gelling well with the other one. I think because DR Halpin was so good with me I wanted a male therapist. Sounds weird ik but I just got on with them better. They're less sympathetic, I feel less uncomfortable. And this new guy is great but starting therapy over again is so exhausting, they want me to repeat everything and I still can't really do that without spiralling.

Don't worry about having no news about Jackson. I shouldn't have even asked.

Nightmares are the worst, aren't they? Home-schooling isn't too bad thank you for asking! I've been keeping up the grades, I've even been dipping into my Dads school to help the wellbeing team there. There was a lot of behavioural and emotional difficulties among the students and apparently the all-male wellbeing team weren't being very successful with the female students. So, my dad asks if I wanted to volunteer seeing as I actually had experiences that could help younger students and now I am working in the school three times a week. I may have found my passion Luce! They listen to me and they share with me so freely that honestly sometimes once the kid has left I have a little cry at how much they trust me. I know that's super sappy but it's the truth.

Honestly, I'm turning into a little Charlotte Granger. I know you don't know who that is Luce but you would love her if you met her. Have you been thinking about your future? I know summers soon but senior year's rolling around and I feel like these are the things we have to think about.

I can't wait to hear from you, I hope everything's ok.

Love, Ivy.

AUGUST