Confessions of a Queen Bee

Chapter 49

"And he just left?" Lucy asks in surprise.

"Yeah. He just walked out."

"What the hell, have you heard from him since?" Faye asks and sits down across from me where I am sat on the floor.

"Nope. I asked Jay obviously, but Jay's a bit mad with me too so he just said that Jackson's fine."

"What Jay's mad? Doesn't he understand?" Nora asks and I just shrug.

"He's not mad, mad. I think he's just upset like everyone else but you know how he is."

"Have you seen him?" Faye asks and I nod.

"Jayden came around yesterday to say goodbye properly."

Nora, Lucy, Faye and Jess had all come around to help me pack up the final bits of my room. We all went for lunch the other day and I introduced the girls to Lucy and explained to them that I was leaving. They were all sad but they totally understood why.

It had been a week since I left Jacksons. It was now Saturday afternoon and I was leaving tomorrow. Like officially leaving.

I was looking forward to it, honestly. I knew I was going to miss everyone so much but I was looking forward to the new start.

I wasn't going to hide anything, or pretend to be someone I'm not. I'm just going to be an ordinary girl recovering from something that almost broke her.

But I wasn't broken, not entirely. And this new start I thought would have me find my new shape. I wasn't ever going to rebuild myself into the person I was. And to be far I didn't even want that. But I was excited to just be me, wherever I ended up.

I was growing mad with Jackson. At first, I was heartbroken, I mean I cried into my mum's arms that night.

I never expected to fall in love with him, Jesus I never expected to love again after everything that happened this year. But I did.

And I can already feel my body aching for him, and I hadn't even left yet.

But now i was growing mad. Angry.

But he knew I was leaving, he knew and he didn't come to say goodbye.

He didn't answer my calls.

He didn't answer my texts.

I even talked to his mum, and she told me he wouldn't talk to her about it.

I knew I had broken him too, I knew I wasn't the only one feeling this way, but my god if he was leaving I would want to say goodbye.

Every time in the past when we fought, when we hurt each other. We always talked it out. We always sorted it out.

I guess he didn't want that this time.

And I shouldn't have wanted that either. I knew it was better this way, a clean cut. No baggage left behind. I was leaving and we weren't anything anymore, not even friends.

But my god, I thought I'd found it with Jackson. And I know we are still young and I know we fought a lot and I pushed him away and he pushed me away. But every time we both came back to each other.

Well until now.

It's not about finding someone you won't fight with or make you feel sad. It is about finding the someone who will still be standing there wiping the tears away holding you in their arms after a fight. They never leave, no matter how hard things get.

The thing is, Jackson and I kept leaving each other.

This time for good.

And I honestly felt it was for the best. Jackson was honestly the best person I had ever met and he deserved someone equally as great.