City of Secrets | kpop mafia au

Chapter 40

tw// this chapter mentions eating disorders - reader discretion advised

"Hey" Maddie smiled at Hyunjin as she approached her locker, Hyunjin was already there and had already collected a small audience of onlookers.

"Hey" he smiled back "did you get home safe last night?"

"Yeah I did thank you" Maddie smiled "oh shit, I forgot your hoodie, I'll wash it and bring it in tomorrow" she quickly apologised, admittedly she'd fallen asleep in the warm fabric and had left it in a crumpled pile on her bed.

"It's ok, you can take your time" Hyunjin insisted a little awkwardly.

"Thanks" Maddie sighed.

"Did you eat?" He asked his tone suddenly all serious, his bashful mood suddenly replaced with what ever this was.

"No, I woke up and had to run out the door" Maddie shrugged, brushing off his question not wanting to dwell on the topic.

"I need you to eat" he deadpanned keeping eye contact with her.

"I can't promise that" she snapped shortly breaking his intense stare.

"Please I need you to" he pleaded "or I'll have to force feed you. It's really not healthy Maddie - and I don't want you to get sick" he added.

"Jesus, you sound like my sister" Maddie said turning to their lockers, trying not to let her frustration get the better of her. She didn't know how to react, she'd only ever had these sorts of conversations with Izzy or Alice, or a therapist, definitely not with boys she barely even knew. She was threatened that Hyunjin felt entitled to enter her personal problems like he gave a shit, when she knew no one really cared about her when it came down to it.

"Please Maddie" he begged, and Maddie had to do a double take, because she heard something in those two words she didn't expect to hear, his voice was soft and quiet, but what struck her was the desperate, almost vulnerable tone in his voice. Maddie wasn't the kind of person to let herself be vulnerable in front of people but she had been in front of Hyunjin, and instead of ignoring it like she hoped he would to save her from embarrassment he was possibly doing the same, being vulnerable to a complete stranger.

"I'm trying, I'm trying really hard" Maddie breathed. "Listen it's an old problem and I can deal with it as I have been. I've got it under control."

"Let me help" he pressed.

"Hyunjin, I've had countless people all wanting to 'help' but it's not something that can really be helped. They all gave up a long time ago because they were smart and realised that it's my problem, so just stay out of it" Maddie snapped back, her lack of sleep and insecurities making her tone more icy than she had intended. She'd recognised Hyunjin's vulnerability and she'd taken it, stomped all over it then spat it back in his face. Because she was a bitch and a bad person.

"I just care about you and I want to help you overcome this. You don't have to be alone" he explained, gently holding onto her arm. Maddie's heart ached at his words because she wished they were true, she silently hoped that he was telling the truth, but then the cold hard logical part of her brain reminded her that she was a bad person and didn't deserve the kindness of other people.

"For gods sake Hyunjin, I've said you can't help so just accept it" she replied firmly slamming her locker door closed, "and stop trying to save me - I don't need that."