City of Secrets | kpop mafia au

Chapter 41

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TRIGGER WARNING - this chapter mentions topics which could be triggering for some readers

Maddie stared at her reflection in the black screen of her phone, the sound of Izzys comforting voice long gone. With a tiered sigh Maddie finished her ascent onto the roof of the building, her legs exhausted from excess training and the many stairs. As Maddie stepped onto the roof she tried to compose herself before realising there was no point. The wind was whipping around her legs as she walked over to where Hyunjin was staring out onto the city, holding a cigarette to his lips, she stopped next to him to let him know of her presence without disrupting him, silent tears streaking down her face.

He put his hand out offering her a drag of his cigarette, she was going to quit, but she deserved at least a puff after what she'd just done. She took the cigarette from his hand and thanked that his eyes never left the city in front of him so he didn't have to see her like this. She took a deep inhale of the thick smoke holding it in her lungs for longer than necessary before handing him back the cigarette and releasing the air in her chest.

"Will you be my model?" she asked as he took the cigarette back trying to avoid the question that was later to come. She was greeted with a confused expression so she continued "for my project in design I have to make an item of clothing, will you model it for me?"

He cleared his throat before answering "sure, what did you have in mind?" He asked she could see that he was looking over at her tear stained face out of the corner of her eye. 

"A suit jacket, is that ok?" She asked looking out over the city, taking some deep breaths.

"Yeah I guess that's fine" he replied joining her gaze out to the city.

"Great thank you" she said looking back at him.

"No problem" he replied. They stood in silence for a moment before Maddie riled up the courage to speak again

"Can you do me a favour?" She asked reluctantly but finally deciding to get someone else to help control her inner demons with her.

"Anything" Hyunjin said a little to enthusiastically.

"Don't let me eat at lunch" she deadpanned, knowing that demand wasn't exactly what her sister had in mind but it was the best she could do.

"What, no, you need to eat" he said folding his arms, with confusion and sadness on his beautiful face.

"Trust me it's better if I don't eat at lunch and keep what I do have in my stomach" Maddie said giving everything away, but she didn't feel like she needed to hide it with Hyunjin, she didn't feel judged.

A look of understanding waved over Hyunjin as he picked up on what she'd said. It was no big secret that Maddie hated herself, she hated that she couldn't control the random urges she had to be sick or cut herself, or the way she would do wild things just so she could justify feeling so out of control, she hated how she couldn't even control her emotions, or her feelings. She hated how she'd let every inch of progress she'd made go down the drain.