The City Comes Alive When We're Together (An Alex Gaskarth love story)

Chapter 1

Gwendolyn

I've contemplated it tons of times. Way to many...but as I sit on the ledge of the bridge I can't help but think 'Is this really what I want?' I mean, I have so much that I'm not thinking about. I have friends, a big house, but my mind still hasn't changed about it, because this is what I want, this is what I crave. A feeling of nothing, blackness, relief.

The waters would surely be majestic and peaceful. Right? But it just wouldn't make sense to jump off a bridge? Why not use any other method? It just felt right this way. I don't know why, but it just did.

It seems I've chosen a good time to do this considering the lack of cars at 3 in the morning it was perfect. There wasn't a worry as to if someone would stop me. Not that they could I was set on this happening.

I pulled my legs up to a standing position and gripped onto the rusty bolts of the bridge as I looked down. It might sound dark and evil to you, but as I stared down at that bridge, I couldn't help but feel like once I made my leap of faith, all my worries, all my fears, all my problems would just dissipate. Disappear like I would in just a minute.

As I shuffled closer a little bit with the wind blowing through my hair and making my eyes water I looked down once again. I was ready. I was sure of it now. I shuffled and little bit closer and sighed. This was it.

I heard screeching tires and a car door slam but I didn't turn around. "Hey!" I still didn't turn around.

"Hey! Hey girl!" I know this guy was a stranger, but the least he could do was have a bit of common decency and not call me "girl." I mean yes I am a girl, but I have a name.

Why couldn't I just have one moment. Just one fucking moment, to end my misery without someone stopping me or without simply being interrupted.

"Look I know things must be tough and that you think there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to listen to me when I say there is. There is a light, and you'll find it in your own journey, but you have to be willing to take that journey." Same bullshit I've heard the last 2 times I've wanted to do this, and every goddamn time I stepped down. But in those 2 times I haven't found the light and I didn't want to find it unless I was dead.

"Just leave me alone! You don't even know me! Let me do this." I yelled and shuffled a little bit closer to the edge. My toes were off the edge now, the only thing holding me up were my hands.

"You're right I don't know you, but I want too." The stranger responded. I could hear his footsteps closer and I grew scared.

"What's your name?" He asked. I contemplated whether I should tell him my real name or just throw a random name off the tip of my tongue. I decided against it.

"Gwendolyn." I answered shivering. Can I jump now? I'm starting to shake and then i'll chicken out, I just want this done and over with.

"That's a very pretty name can I call you Gwen?" Why is he even asking, he's never gonna see me again. I want to make so that no body sees me again, why am I talking to a stranger when I could be ending it? It was something in his voice that I've never heard before. Concern. It was keeping me on edge, literally.

"What's your name?" I asked and at this point my teeth started chattering and I was shaking. Maybe doing this in the middle of February wasn't such a great idea.

"I'm Alex." He answered simply. I nodded and looked down one more time. "What's so bad that you gotta stop your life just when it's begun?" He asked. It was none of his business why I was standing up on this ledge. To be honest, I didn't have a logical reason to be standing up here, I just wanted my loneliness and self hatred to end.

"I don't think that's any of your business." I snapped. I stumbled a little, but regained my balance and stood there. Why did I regain my balance? I could have easily fallen but I had to stop myself. Maybe, just maybe it wasn't what I really wanted.

"I'm only trying to help Gwen, but can you please step down from the edge?" He asked. I was trying my best to be persistent, but his voice was just...soothing. I didn't know how to describe it but it made me feel safe. I haven't even seen his face and I'm already feeling like I've known him forever. This isn't right.

"Gwen listen to my voice," that won't be a problem. "I don't know who or what is causing you to feel this way is making you feel this way but please, for me step down from the ledge and live your life and love yourself." He was almost begging. I gripped the bar even more and turned myself around, but I still prevented myself from looking at his face. I can't believe I did it again. I let yet another person talk me out of it. Lets face it, I was weak! I couldn't even finish something off that I wanted to, which at that moment was myself.

I heard a sigh filled with relief as I stepped down. I looked down at my shoes and stared. I didn't want to look up. I couldn't bring myself too.

"C'mon, i'll take you back to my hotel and we can talk and you can get some sleep." He suggested. Going back to a hotel with someone, let alone a stranger. I would be absolutely insane at that point if I said yes to even getting in the car with him. But did I really put much thought into it? No. He couldn't be some sort of killer or rapist when he just talked me out of jumping off of a 150 foot tall bridge.

He held out his hand and even though I knew it was bad to take a stranger's hand I took it and he led me to the car. It was still running when we got to it and we got in it was extra warm. My cheeks felt frozen against the heat but I warmed up quickly.

"Soooo Gwen?" I looked up for the first time tonight and looked at the man in front of me. He had a hint of a beard but not to much and spiked up caramel hair that looked like bed head.

"Yes?" I asked when he didn't say anything. He hasn't even started to drive the car yet and it was already super awkward.

"Nothing." He said and drove straight. I looked back at the spot, I immediately grew sad because if I wasn't so goddamn weak or naïve I would've done it "The more you look back, the harder it gets." He said as he drove.

"Why didn't you just let me jump! End it all!" I yelled and huffed in my seat. He sighed and shook his head. "Cause I don't like seeing people hurt themselves for no reason." He whispered.

"And who says I don't have a reason." I snapped and turned forward. That got him to shut up as he drove.

I looked back again even though we were far from on the bridge and couldn't help but wonder, did I make the right choice?