The City Comes Alive When We're Together (An Alex Gaskarth love story)

Chapter 21

Gwendolyn

No matter how much I wanted to forget last night it was stuck in my brain. It's gotten to the point where Alex thinks something is wrong with him. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with him. I made my own decision and stayed in my bunk all day. I couldn't face him, or the guys because I'm pretty sure they heard Alex on his drunken emotional rant. It's been a couple hours and Alex left a note next to me saying that they were doing sound check then a signing before their set and then performing. I've been "sleeping" and didn't want anyone bothering me, when actually I was laying there, thinking about last nights occurrences.

It wasn't like I wasn't attracted to Alex, and it wasn't that I didn't want him, but how do you just tell someone that their different than other guys. If it wasn't special to me before what made it so goddamn special now! What is this man doing to me! The worst that could happen is he takes it the wrong way, which he could get tired of waiting, cheat on me, leave me. He could also be on the understanding side and respect my wishes. It was a 50/50 win lose situation.

I've realized last night after seeing him drunkenly crying over his own insecurities that I was the cause for them. That my denial has made him think that I don't want him, that I think something is wrong with him and ultimately he thinks the same. I don't know if he remembers anything from last night, or up to a certain point. There was a part of me that wanted to find out and that wanted to know if he remembered, then there's the part that didn't and that thought if he did he would question me on it sooner or later. I didn't know how I could possibly put how I feel into words without feeling like a total moron. I couldn't just lay here all day. I had to at least do something productive even if it is the end of the day.

I peeked my head out of the curtain of my bunk and looked around cautiously. I wanted to make this quick so that I could make it back to my bunk in time to make it seem like I was still "sleeping" I maneuvered my way out so that I didn't hurt my leg anymore then it was and stood up on my crutches. My plan was to take a shower considering its summer and sticky and ew. I quickly crutched my way over to the bathroom and shut the door. This was working out so far and I wanted to keep it that way.

I put the plastic bag thingy over my leg and with much difficulty stepped under the water. Earlier this morning Matt said he brought one of those stick on support bars at a nearby Home Depot so I could shower easily. The shower was cramped enough, but I needed it. I reached for the shampoo and started lathering my hair. This shower was well needed and I was loving every second of it.

After I finished washing out the shampoo I reached for the soap. And slipped. Stupid little me let go of the support bar and slipped in the shower, with a seriously broken leg and I couldn't get up. My phone was in my bunk and every time I tried to stand up I slipped because I only had use of one leg. Well, isn't this just splendid.

"Shit." I muttered to myself. I didn't have the skills to turn off the water with my feet because it was a knob not a lever so I was stuck there. I didn't know how long I would be forced to wait here and it was embarrassing, someone would have to help me out. How do you explain to someone that you fell in the shower trying to reach for soap.

I think it was five minutes before I heard yelling throughout the bus. It was less time than expected, which ultimately meant less time to prepare my brain with the thought that one them is gonna see me naked. I sighed and lowered my head. Maybe they would think I just got in, which gave me time to try and get back up on my own.

I guess I was lucky that none of the guys bothered me yet with complaints of having to use the bathroom. Then again, maybe they just went outside. Y'know, nature. I had to try and do this on my own and the worst that could happen is that I fall again. So I grabbed the bar and took deep breaths before I began to pull myself up. Let me remind you that I have no upper body strength whatsoever and my hand slipped and knocked over a body of shampoo with a louder than expected thud.

"Gwen? You ok?" I heard Alex say as he opened the door.

"Um I fell and I can't get up. Oh my god I feel like I'm in a life alert commercial." I complained and groaned.

"Um ok, ummmmmm ok," he panicked and when I thought he was gonna help me he ran out the door yelling "CASS! CASSADEE!!" I didn't know who Cassadee was but I felt better knowing that he was getting another girl.

"Jesus Alex what's so bad that he yanked me away from everyone." I heard her say. He opened the bathroom and smiled. "I know you don't know each other but you're both girls and she has a broken leg and fell in the shower, so can you help my girlfriend?" He asked and pushed her forward. I could sense how awkward Alex felt, and Cass rolled her eyes.

"My one day here and I'm already dealing with you're non sense Alex, you've seen naked girls before what's the problem now." She said and walked towards me. As she helped me out I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself and sat on the toilet seat lid.

"Thank you Cass, here Gwen I got you some clothes." He said and watched Cass walk out. It was really sweet that he brought me clothes, but I didn't understand why he was still here.

"Gwen, can we talk about last night?" He asked. I looked up from the clothes and widened my eyes, he remembers it! Shit.

"You remember it?" I whispered and separated my clothes to see what he picked out. A long sleeve gray V neck and leggings. He probably felt to awkward to go in the underwear bag I had because I didn't see any.

"Yeah. I wanted to say sorry. It's not my intention of making you feel pressured its just-"

"Frustrating." I interrupted. He nodded and looked down at his shoes.

"Alex can we talk about this when a towel is the only later covering me?" I asked, his cheeks became a rosy red and he walked out. I got dressed quickly and brought my dirty clothes to the laundry bag.

"Can we talk now?" He asked sitting on the edge of his bunk. I nodded and led him to the back lounge.

"Do you remember everything?" I asked. He nodded and looked down.

"I wasn't that drunk. Just tipsy, really really tipsy." He said and laughed. His face got serious again and he turned towards me.

"Gwen, I..." He paused and grabbed my hands and kissed both of them "never in my life would I ever dream of hurting you, never, I love you to much I swear if anything happened to you then I don't know what I would do with myself. I would probably die, you're my world, and I hate that I made you feel pressured." He finished and had a look in his eyes, he had a look of sadness etched into his eyes and I hate to say it but he looked like he was going to cry.

"Alex you didn't pressure me at all, I love you ok? Nothing will change that, I don't know what it is about you, but you're different, I can't bring myself to just do it. I want it to be romantic, this feeling is different for me, you're just different." And just like that I spoke my feelings about it. I felt like a moron for sure. I scared to looked at him because I thought he'd have a judging look on his face.

"Look at me," He whispered and moved my chin up "that's the best idea ever you know? You just gave me a great idea." He said and smiled.

"How bout a date? Tomorrow night, you and me, dinner?" He said. I smiled and nodded "it's a date."