Open Heart: MC X Sienna

The Confrontation

Sienna's silence is what scares me now. There is obvious expression of shock on her face but I had never expected her to go silent after my revelation. I have no words left to break this awkward silence between the two of us.

I finally hear her take a deep breath and then she begins walking. Walking away from me! She is almost gone from beside me when somehow I hold her from the wrist. Tears filling my eyes and grief clouding my mind.

"Let me go" she commands me very calmly.

I let go of her wrist at the very moment and wait for her to turn around and at least say one word of condemnation. But she doesn't.

She slowly picks up her pace when I call out to her "Don't leave me in this misery. Be angry if you want to be but not quite!"

After I'm done, she turns around. An expression of horror on her face. It takes me a whole good minute to understand that the sudden change in her expression from indifference to shock is because I am crying soundlessly. Perhaps, she never expected such an expression of emotions from my side. This is the other side of me that neither she nor anybody else has ever seen. It is private, it is sacred and it is allowed.

She walks back slowly. Out of sympathy maybe; I don't know.

"What do you wish to hear?" she asks me the question to which I don't know the answer anymore.

I remain silent.

"What? That you hurt me? Yes, yes you did. You broke my trust and you make me feel disgusted of myself"

"It was my fault as well... Probably, at some point in our friendship, I gave you the wrong impression. A hint that maybe I liked you more than just friends. So, it is not your fault but mine as well"

"Falling for you was out of hands, you are and were never responsible for my feelings" The words came on their own. From my heart. My brain didn't carve out the sentence.

"Yes it was! It was in your hands! You were in total control of what you felt" for the first time in this conversation, she sounds furious.

"You could always stop yourself from feeling this way about me! You didn't and that's where your mistake lies. My fault is that I certainly must've done things unconsciously that made you feel this way. Which promoted your feelings" and she pauses, trying to hold back her own tears. I make no such effort as hers.

"I remember..." some kind of realisation dawns upon her "The night... that night. That was when I was at complete fault!" she exclaims.

I immediately know what she is talking about.

"I let you kiss me and I accept that I kissed you as well. It was my will... and it was my fault. I was guilty of it right away but that doesn't change what happened and it was too much of a strong signal for you. I believe that my explanation, my apology and my guilt was not understandable to you. That is why I talked to you and you..." she is on the verge of tears now.

"You walked out on me!" and her tears finally fall but they are filled with anger and hate, which is heartbreakingly directed towards me.

She lets out a long held breath and takes a moment.

"So, if I am seeing this day then it is not entirely your doing but I am responsible for it too" she almost says in a cool and much composed whisper.

"I don't agree with you. I had feelings for you even before that and I knew I was in love even before that happened. You can't wrongly blame yourself" but she raises her hand to stop me right away.

"Just don't..." she says in a very stiff and angry tone.

I go quiet for the moment.

"Isn't it why you always tried to separate me from Wayne?" she very unexpectedly chuckles but this is a chuckle of taunting and disgust. I know.

"I-I never"

"Oh please! You were against him before anybody else. You always wanted us to break up! So that you could have your chance" and at this, if I had ever felt pain... it must've felt like heaven because this... this is what it feels to have your soul pierced. She just makes me hate myself now even though she is wrong. She is so wrong about this.

After a strong effort, I won't say that I have gotten a hold of myself... I am just more familiar with words.

"I can not and will not feel disgusted of myself for this!" I say defensively.

She glares at me.

"Don't blame it on me. Wayne is manipulative, mean and a douce bag! He doesn't treat you right and has no right to control every action of your life! No one deserves to be stuck with him or anyone remotely like him! I only showed you the reality from the start!"

"No! You were jealous of him from the start. You never wanted us to be together" and she pauses to catch her breath "You wanted to break us up!"

And now, I feel angry as well. How can she think like that? How can she ignore the reality of her relationship? And how can she blame it all on me?

"Have a look at your relationship for once, Sienna. Wayne has been treating you like you're nothing from a long, long time. From even before the time we met. He has suspected you, shouted at you and misbehaved with you since a very long time. I only highlighted what was wrong. I only helped you in seeing what you had been thinking was 'okay' and 'normal' when it wasn't" and the events of my first meeting with Wayne pop up in my brain.

"You can definitely ask your girlfriend to get you soda or beer or whatever but at least thank her when she does it for you and not take it as an offense if she asks you to do something similar for her at another time. You don't complain about it and then ask her again to get you something else. Babies act like that, not gentlemen. A real man doesn't suspect his girlfriend all the damn time! He trusts her just like she trusts him. Now you tell me..." and I look directly into her eyes.

"Hasn't he been abusive towards you even before you met me or anyone of our friends for the record? Try to be a little honest with yourself, Sienna. Try to accept some facts."

"You deserve to be treated like the Princess you are"

She averts her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest as she hears me.

"I am my 100% honest self with you and that is how I plan to be from now on. I have truly loved you and yes, my feelings are my business. I can never ever force you for anything but I can definitely love you in my heart as it is not a game. You can't just 'undo' your feelings, just like that! Even if moving on is the only option I have left, then I need to do it on my own pace..." It hurts to even think about having to push my feelings for her away and I don't feel ready for it at all but I already know that this is what lies ahead for me. This is essential and I would have to do it no matter how much pain it is going to inflict on me. How much pain I am going to inflict on myself.

R_____________ F

Hello my people! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I am thinking of writing the next chapter from the POV of Sienna. Let me know what you think about that. Please take care of yourself and stay happy+healthy ✌🏻😘

And if you love choices and want to see fun edits and stuff then follow me on tumblr @rf-rida.