Laura

Bouncing from foster homes to group homes has been awful, a 17 year old on her own in a world so cruel and hateful towards people like us. We're human too, do they not realize that we all bleed the same color? guess not. Group homes weren't exactly my favorite places to be in or at, because a lot of shit goes down in those homes, a lot. One time I asked the lady that took me in when she was only supposed to have 8 girls In a home if I could get a tampon and she turned me in saying that I assaulted her when I didn't do a single thing but ask a question. I'm kinda glad she did that because that place reeked of fish and Fritos chips and nasty cat food. 

The last home I stayed in was 1 year ago and I thought this home was different because it was gender-mixed, meaning girls and boys were in the home but in separate rooms and I actually made friends there and everyone was so nice to me and the staff was very kind to me, I ate real home-cooked foods and never went to bed hungry. I stayed there for only a month when things turned sour for me, typical for bad things to happen when I start doing good. I got into a relationship with the house mom's son who was 19 years old and I was 15 turning 16 and they found out about our little affair because their son told them that I raped him when he was the one that did rape me instead of vice versa. Of course, they believed their son over me, and exactly one day later I was kicked out of their home and put back into that damn messed up system of theirs.

You're probably wondering where my actual family is right? well, my birth mom died giving birth to me and my dad is a deadbeat and dropped me off at the police station in the cold. And that's where this all started, being homeless. In my last home, I stayed there for 3 hours, like seriously, and ran way the first chance I had and ran until my leg caught a cramp and never looked back again. In Oklahoma, there is nothing here but big highways, freeways, and typical homeless people everywhere. 

I get a lot of stares obviously, but I ignore them and go on with my day and hope I just hope that someone drops a dollar or five dollars on the ground, just so I can get some food in my stomach. Being homeless sucks, really does. I've got a friend, her name is Jocelyn and she's a prostitute on the corner of North Tulsa Hotel on Sheridan rd. She's really kind to me and she took care of me when I was knocked unconscious by a man trying to hurt me, Jocelyn protected me from further damages that could've happen to me that night. 

I tried prostitution once, didn't work out well, threw up on the guy the first time I try to give what he wanted, I got 100 Bucks from the guy for trying though. A lot of people don't see what really goes on in these streets of Tulsa, even those who claim they know this city because they've been here their whole lives, well guess what? You don't.

Finally arriving at the hotel where Jocelyn stays at I make my way to her room with managers staring at me. the man walks around the corner and follows behind me, "you need to check in, before walking away to god knows where and steal something from my hotel" he yells. Making me stop in my tracks and turn around. "My friend stays here and she told me to come straight to her room, nothing about checking in," I say back facing him with a good distance. 

"who Joe"? he asks but now with a calmer voice. "How do you know her?  you don't look like a guy who would have relations with a prostitute, " I ask as I lean against the wall with my arms crossed. "I know who stays here and who doesn't, and I don't have relations with her she pays her rent on time every month she doesn't give me any trouble," he says with his legs crossed and leans against the wall also, still looking at me. 

"okay well she's looking for me by now," I scoff and turn around and walk towards her room. why did he call her joe for, as nobody calls her that and she hates that nickname "Another thing is that she hates being called joe!" I yell and walk-in her room.

"Hey kid, knock next time!" she says with her shirt covering her chest and a naked man in the bed. I close my eyes and walk into the bathroom and lock it and sit on the counter until she says something. I really need to start knocking, because what I saw was scary.

I sit there and fiddle with my fingers until I hear a man talking to her "is that your kid?" he asks "no she's a friend of mine" she answers back, I get off the counter and listen closely by the door  "she's pretty" he says making me make a disgusted face "eww" I say quietly "she's not your type nor is she the age, so I'm going to stop you there on that" Jocelyn says making me smile on how she takes up for me. "I was saying, not like I wanted her or something," he says " Yeah you said that about me too and here we are," Jocelyn says making me feel sad.

I hear shuffling of shoes and I quickly hop back on the counter "see you later kid" the unknown man says as he knocks on the bathroom door making me jump, then the sound of the door shutting. "L, you can come out now," Jocelyn says I jump off the counter and unlock the door and open it "sorry, I didn't knock before coming in," I say looking at the ground "Its fine kid, he paid me anyways, he paid me extra so here's $40," she says handing me the money "that's yours though, you had to do stuff for him even when you probably didn't want too," I speak still looking at the ground, feeling awful for even trying to think about taking her money.

"I said it's okay, use it for food or anything," she says hugging me I stand there for a sec before I gave in and hugged her back. "thank you J," I say and pull away " did you come here for a shower?" she asks, I nodded my head yes "go ahead and I'll get the clothes," she says and walks away. I turn around and start the shower, I come to her place once every two weeks because she's always busy with other men in her rooms and she doesn't want me to see that even when I still feel his hands on me from that night, his name was Alex and I hate saying his name. "here you go, it's whatever they had at the shelter the shirt might be too big and the leggings might be small" she says handing me new clothes and a towel.

"Thank you," I say and grab the clothes and towel and lay them down on the counter "holler if you need me" she says walking out and closing the door behind her. I look at myself in the mirror and see dirt marks all over my face and dried up blood from when I fell on the ground earlier. I step into the shower and let the hot water go down my filthy body and look down to see that my dirt made mud-like water below me. After ten minutes of showering, I get out and dry off and put on the clothes, the leggings fit right but the shirt was big and had long sleeves, so I was okay with it.

I walk out and look for Jocelyn but she was nowhere to be found, I sigh and lay on her side of the bed and look at the ceiling. " I wish things would get better," I say and sit up on the bed my one-foot dangling off the bed. I look over and see she left a note, I picked it up and it read  "there's leftover food in the fridge and cold drinks, have some and lock the door on your way out, see you soon!" it read. Well don't mind if I do, and proceeded to eat the food and drink. When I was done and satisfied I put my shoes on and walked out and locked the door.

I make my way down the flights of stairs and walk out the door and see the manager from earlier "So, what is this? are you a charity case for a prostitute or something? " he asks and laughs  "fuck off musty bastard" I flip him off and walk off, "what a good way to start the day off" I sarcastically say and start my journey on finding a place to sleep for tonight.