South park oneshots

Kyman - The coon ( part 1)

I don't really know what this chapter is but like I guess I wanted to try something a little different. I have an idea where Im going with it but let me know if you want to see more or if its meh

The coon sat on his roof, surveying the dark streets below him. " Its a quiet night" He remarked to himself. " Too quiet... " A loud crash coming from the park, made him swivel his head around, quickly sliding off the roof. " Did you hear something? " Liane Cartman asked from inside of her room as Cartman squealed, flailing his legs wildy as he shimmied down the side of the house. " Nice one Coon you're so amazing! " Cartman whispered in a high pitched voice. " Why thank you random hot chick" He answered in his Coon voice, as he scurried towards the park. " Proffesor Chaos" He growled, watching as Butters held Kyle over the edge of the tallest slide. " Chaos! You won't get away with this you dick! " Kyle screeched as he looked down at the ground below him. " No one is a match for PROFESSOR CHAOS! " Butters laughed as he threatened to drop the ginger. " PUT HIM DOWN CHAOS " Cartman interjected, stepping out of the shadows. " Aww heck.. Why do you have to ruin my evil plans all the time Coon" Butters whined. " I mean, NO! " Chaos corrected himself, realising that he was supposed to be acting like his supervillain alter ego. Butters gave Cartman an evil smirk, before letting go of Kyle. " AGH! " Kyle yelled in fear, before he felt himself land on something soft. He opened his eyes to see the Coon holding him, glaring daggers at Butters. " Uh oh " Chaos said, before sprinting away as fast as he could. Cartman put Kyle down, chasing after the villain. " WAIT, WHO ARE YOU? " Kyle yelled after him. " The coon" Cartman said mysteriously, before disappearing into the night. Quiet murmers of " fuck yea" and " wow coon that was awesome" Could be heard as Cartman whispered to himself, but Kyle just stood in disbelief as he tried to process what had happened.

" What so he just vanished? " Stan asked the next day at school, through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. " Well I think he just went after Chaos, but he still looked awesome! " Kyle answered enthusiastically, eyes wide as he recounted the events of last night to his friends. " Mmpfhph mfhhpm" Kenny smirked, making everyone grimace at him. " Gross dude no! " Kyle retorted. " So, who do you think he is? " Stan changed the subject, just as Cartman came over with his tray. " I don't know, he could be anyone" Kyle said thoughtfully. " Hey what you guys talking about" Cartman asked, plopping down at the table as he shoved a handful of cheesy poofs into his mouth. " Kyle saw a superhero last night! He saved him from Proffesor Chaos! " Stan told him excitedly, making Cartman splutter. " Oh uh.. Really? " " Yea man he was awesome! " Kyle grinned happily. " His name was the Coon! " Kenny grinned as he pulled his hood down, showing the gaps in his teeth. " AW DUDE YOU MET THE COON? " Cartman faked excitement. " HE'S SO FAMOUS AND HANDSOME AND ATTRACTIVE, DO YOU KNOW HE'S GETTING HIS OWN NETFLIX SERIES SOON? " He continued, hyping up his persona. " WHAT? " Kyle asked in shock. " Dude you met a real life superhero! " Stan grinned excitedly. " Was he as handsome as they say? " Cartman asked, lost in the moment. " His face was covered, but he did look pretty ripped" Kyle agreed, making Cartman blush when he realised what Kyle had just said. " Uh I uh.. I need to go" Cartman quickly stated, shoving a burger into his mouth before running to the toilet. " What was that all about? " Kyle asked in confusion as Stan shrugged. Kenny had put his hood back up, and mumbled something about diorreah in response, making Kyle and Stan both say " Aw sick dude" in perfect unison. Meanwhile, Cartman splashed water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to stop the butterflies in his stomach. " Do I really have a crush on the Jew? " He asked himself, fear lacing his voice. " Are you ok dude? " Kyle's voice asked as the ginger began opening the door. Cartman spluttered, quickly running into a stall and closing the door. " Yea Kyle im just taking a shit god who are you my mum" He snapped, screwing his eyes shut as he hoped that Kyle believed him. " You know what fuck you man I just wanted to make sure you were okay, theres no need to be a dick. " Kyle rolled his eyes. " Fuck me? Nah fuck you Jew! " Cartman snapped back as Kyle slammed the door angrily. When he was sure Kyle was gone, he relaxed, leaning his head back as he let out a breath he hadnt realised he had been holding. Kyle had come to check on him? So he really did care. The thought made Erics stomach flip and he covered his mouth when he realised he couldnt stop a smile from forming on his lips. What Kyle had said about the coon earlier replayed in Erics mind for the rest of the day, and by the time the bell had rung signalling the end of the day, Eric had made a decision. He was going to tell Kyle his secret identity tonight.

Later that night Eric stood in the darkness, staring up at Kyles window. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he fought with himself about telling Kyle the truth. The light switched on in Kyles room making Eric jump. He cautiously climbed a nearby tree and wobbled around as he prepared to make an entrance, but stopped as he listened to what Kyle was saying. He was on the phone to who Eric assumed to be Stan. " I know, hes such a fucking dick. I don't even know why we hang around with him I mean he clearly hates me. " Kyle said angrily. Eric chuckled to himself. They must be talking about Kenny or something. He moved closer to the window, waiting for Kyle to finish the call. " Like earlier today I went to see if he was ok and he just fucking got pissed at me. " Cartmans heart dropped. They were talking about him. Suddenly telling Kyle the truth didn't seem like such a good idea. He got up, turning around to leave before wobbling and falling against the window, making a loud thump. Kyle looked towards the noise. " I've gotta go dude, see you tommorow" Kyle said suspiciously before throwing his phone on his bed and walking towards the window. Erics heart pounded in his chest as he squished against the wall, trying desperately to remain out of sight. " Coon? " Kyle asked. Cartman quickly swivelled around, posing dramatically. " Oh Kyle, didn't see you there. " Kyles eyes lit up as the moon light shone on the coons face. " Come in" He smiled.

(Part Two soon if you want it)