South park oneshots

Style - Hypothetically

" BUT MUM! TOKEN IS THROWING A CHRISTMAS PARTY AND-" " KYLE STOP ARGUING YOU ARE JEWISH YOU DONT EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS" " YEA BUT-" " NO BUTS KYLE " Kyles mum yelled at him,  making him angrily stomp upstairs to his bedroom. He flopped onto his bed,  angry tears pooling in his eyes. " Kyles mum's a bitch,  shes a big fat bitch,  she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.. " Kyle bitterly mumbled to himself,  quoting Cartman who was,  as much as the ginger hated to admit,  right about something for once. He sat up,  putting his head in his hands and letting a few hot salty tears fall down his cheeks. " Kyle? " A small voice called from the doorway. " Go away Ike" Kyle said,  wiping his eyes quickly. Ike ignored him and waddled in,  earning an eye roll from his big brother.  Ike struggled onto the bed,  making Kyle smile a little.  He then hugged the  ginger tightly,  making his anger melt away.  " Sorry you have to babysit me instead of going to your party. " Ike babbled,  making Kyle hug him tighter.  " Its ok little bro,  its not your fault. " He said to the canadian. " Besides,  I'd much rather hang with my favorite little dude than go to some lame party anyways. " He lied,  but the warm feeling in his heart made him question whether or not he was telling the truth. " OK BUBBY ME AND YOUR FATHER ARE GOING NOW,  DONT KILL YOUR BROTHER" A grating voice echoed up the stairs,  making Kyle grimace.  " SURE MUM" Kyle yelled,  looking at Ike with a smirk.  " Kick the baby" He teased,  making Ike open his eyes wide and laugh,  running away.  " DONT KICK THE BABY! " The small boy giggled,  running downstairs. " Im gonna get you! " Kyle laughed,  chasing after his brother slowly. Meanwhile, at the party Stan stood in the corner of Tokens living room,  sipping a cup of fruit punch and not listening to whatever Wendy was whining about.  " Staaaan,  are you even listening? " He looked lazily up at her,  the blank expression on his face answering her question.  " UGH!  You always do this!  I want to break up! " She said angrily,  surprisingly making Stan feel a rush of happiness.  " O.. Okay?" Stan shrugged,  walking away from the confused girl.  " Wait,  youre supposed to beg me to stay with you! " She shouted after him, which he ignored and opened his phone to text Kyle.

SBF 💙: Hey Kyle,  where u at dude.

BROflovski 💚: Im stuck babysitting Ike 😩

SBF 💙 : Say no more super best friend,  Tool Shed to the rescue.

BROflovski 💚: Dude you are fucking awesome 😁 But you don't have to leave just for me.

SBF 💙: Nah this party sucks anyways,  plus,  missing my favorite Jews 😁

Kyle chuckled,  falling backwards onto his bed and holding his phone to his chest. He smiled,  closing his eyes,  but was interrupted by Ike chuckling in the doorway. " Did your boyfriend just text you? " Ike grinned,  ducking when Kyle launched a pillow at him. " Hey you want another round little dude? " Kyle jokingly threatened,  his face red. Ike constantly teased Kyle and Stan about their crushes on eachother, which were obvious to apparently everyone except the two involved. Suddenly the pair heard a knock at their door,  making Kyle tilt his head in confusion.  Stan couldnt be here already could he? The pair walked downstairs,  opening the door,  their faces falling when they were met with a grinning Cartman.  " What do you want fatass" Kyle said angrily. " Calm down Jew,  I just wanted to say hi to my besssst frieenddd" He said suspiciously. " Cartman cut it out just tell me why you're here" Kyle said blankly. " Okay fine Kahl,  I need help sneaking in to Tokens party because he won't let me in . " Cartman said rolling his eyes.  " No way dude, ask Kenny" Kyle said,  attempting to shut the door but Cartman held it open. " No Kaaahhll,  because you are a Jew and everyone knows that Jews are sneaky" Cartman drawled,  making anger bubble within the ginger. " Fuck.  Off.  Fatass" He said through gritted teeth,   trying to maintain his composure. " Make me K-" Cartman began,  interrupted by a familiar voice at the bottom of the Broflovski's driveway.  " Eric what the fuck are you doing" Stan groaned.  " He's being a dick" Kyle answered,  eyes lighting up at the sight of his best friend. " Well if you're gonna be like that,  screw you guys,  Im going home,  better leave the two lovebirds in peace. " Eric mocked,  angrily stomping away.  Both boys blushed lightly and Stan highfived the ginger. "
Hey dude" Stan said happily.  Ike stumbled up to the pair,  flopping onto Stans long legs in a hug.  " Hey Ike" He said,  chuckling at the small child attatched to him. " Hi Stan,  you wanna play dreidel with me? " Ike asked,  looking up at the boy who was slightly taller than his brother. " Sure little guy" Stan shrugged, looking longingly at Kyle,  secretly wanting some time alone with him. Ike ran upstairs to get some hanuka games and the two older boys plopped down onto the carpet. " So dude,  hows life? " Kyle asked.  "Pretty good,  Im with my favorite dude in the whole world and his brother" Stan smiled happily,  making Kyle blush. " Awww Im your favorite dude? " " Nah man I was talking about Ike" Stan joked,  making Kyle laugh and punch his arm lightly. Butterflies filled Stans stomach as he watched his friends eyes crinkle with the smile. " Wendy broke up with me" Stan unexpectedly blurted out,  clapping his hand over his mouth after. " Sorry I uh..  I dont know why I said that" Stan said confused. " That sucks man,  are you okay? " Kyle asked sympathetically,  hiding the fact that he was guiltily happy about the fact that Stan was now single. " Yea..  Thats just it though.  Im like,  strangely happy?? " Stan said confused. " Oh..  Maybe you didnt really like her anymore? " Kyle said hopefully.  " I dont know man...  Just feels weird to feel this good rightt now. " Ike appeared,  holding a stack of games taller than he was. They toppled to the floor in front of the boys,  making them giggle. The younger boy climbed onto his brothers shoulders while Stan and Kyle set up one of the games.  After four rounds of the game, the three decided it was a good time to make nachos. Ike got up first, sprinting as fast as his tiny legs would let him to the kitchen and rummaging through cupboards greedily for the ingredients. Stan laughed. " Look at the little dude go" Kyle smiled at Stan,  unsure why he couldn't stop staring at the boy. " Uh Kyle? " Stan said,  noticing his gaze. " Yea? " Kyle replied,  his eyes trailing down to Stans sharp jawline. " Dude..  Why are you looking at me like that" Stan said,  a light blish dusting over his nose. " I dont know..  But I dont want to stop.  Is that weird? " Kyle asked,  looking into Stans eyes. " I..  Guess not? " He replied,  unsure of what was happening. " COME ON GUYS! " Ike shouted impatiently,  forcing Kyle to break his gaze. They walked into the kitchen,  their hearts and minds racing. " Can I help Kyle? " Ike asked,  reaching his hands towards his brother.  " Sure little dude" He said,  picking him up so that he could reach the counter easily. Stan watched the pair lovingly,  his heart feeling like it would explode as he watched Kyle smile and laugh at his brother. He loved the way Kyle could brighten a room with that smile.  He loved the light freckles dusted over his pale skin like stars in the night sky.  He loved how caring and kind and - OH FUCK.  He loved Kyle. Stan blushed bright red when everything started to make sense. " I uh..  I need to..  uh..   " Stan stuttered,  quickly rushing upstairs and locking himself in the bathroom. He threw up soon after,  the same way he did when he first fell for Wendy. " Shit" He mumbled to himself,  flushing the toilet and splashing cold water on his face.  He looked into the mirror in front of the sink,  sighing and running a hand through his hair.  Everyone had been right. He was in love with his best friend. " Stan,  you okay in there dude? " Kyle said through the door,  making Stan gasp.  " Ye-a" His voice cracked,  making him facepalm. " You sure? " Kyle asked,  concern lacing his voice. " Yea I uh..  I think we need to talk. " Stan said nervously,  taking a deep breath and walking to unlock the door. Kyle deserved to know. He opened the door to reveal a confused ginger. Stan opened his mouth to speak,  but no words came out. He couldnt help but hug his friend,  who shrugged and hugged him back.  " Whats wrong Stan..  You can tell me anything" Kyle said soothingly, rubbing circles into his friends back. " Im uh..  Im.. " Stan began,  silently cursing himself for being so awkward. He sighed and started again. " What if hypothetically I told you that I liked guys" Stan asked. " Then I would hypothetically say that I dont care.  You would still be the same Stan and I wouldnt think of you any differently. " Kyle smiled,  obviously aware that this situation was not hypothetical. " What if uh..  What if I told you I liked you. " Stan said shyly,  making Kyle freeze. Stan worriedly pulled away from the hug. " I meant hypothetically! " Stan said,  before looking into Kyles face,  who looked surprised but was blushing a dark red. " Shit im sorry Kyle..  I didnt mean to -" He was interrupted by Kyle grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together. It was now Stans turn to blush,  as they held hands in the doorway. " Then I would tell you that I like you too" Kyle said,  before smashing their lips together in a tender and long awaited kiss that just felt..  Right.